I know it's been awhile. Truth be told, I really didn't feel like blogging. I was feeling a little down. However, now I feel better. It wasn't that I didn't want to be found. Quite the opposite! I just needed a moment for myself.
I recently saw "The Broken". It's a great movie. It's a really good thriller. In it, the protagonist finds herself in a world that she thought she knew changing drastically around her. I found out how much I can relate to this movie.Things that we hold dear are shattered right before our eyes and people who once proclaimed their undying love becoming total strangers. I realized (about three years ago) that true love does not exist. If you truly fall in "love" with someone, you're just giving the person authorization to destroy your soul at a moments notice. One thing I did learn from my ordeal, some wounds run really deep. It is not to say that you can't heal. It's just that you don't heal the same.
"Love" can make you believe in things that aren't always true. It can make you feel sorry for things that you haven't even done. It can warp the past and make it painful. "Love" can drive to the point of ending it all. "Love" clouds the mind.
Another thing that popped in my head was what happens when you love someone and they don't love you back? What if that person just uses you for their own gain? Who is ultimately responsible for the hurt that we go through when our worlds are shattered because of some uncaring, ungrateful person?
From what I've seen, you can cry all you want, God isn't going to change anything. You can pray for the pain to stop. You can pray for revenge. You can pray for reconciliation. You can pray for death. You can pray to forget. It won't do you any good. The pain is there for a reason. Sometimes, we find out the reason. Sometimes, we will never see the reason why.
So, if love sucks so bad, why do we continue to let it grow in our hearts. It's an addiction no one wants to breaks! We all want to feel wanted and loved. It's the dumbest reason, but it's true. Someone once said that love will conquer all. Not so. Someone close to me once said love never fails. It does... and it leaves you for dead. You cannot trust anyone...not even your family.
However, you cannot run or hide from it. You can try to disappear, but it is in vain. Love is a disease we all want. For those of us left a hollow shell of our former selves, become strong. Karma is real! For those who have caused pain, the clock ticks the seconds away before thy day of reckoning. For those who still believe with all their hearts in love, God is truly in your hearts. An indomitable spirit is worthless if you don't fight with passion for something. You can be be a fighter; if you have no heart it's worthless. You can be a lover, but let's face it if you don't love they have a name for that. You can lie to yourself and make it seem like it's everybody else's fault. That only leaves you with that anger.
So my remedy to "love" and it shortfalls is this... Don't lie to yourself and love God and yourself. The world is a messed up place. No one here is worth the pain they put you through. "Love" does mean you're going to get hurt. Even Peter broke Jesus's heart. Keep safe and dream big!
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