Paging Dr. Phil!...

Hey crazy cats,

I usually take the weekends off, but today's entry comes as a surprise to me. I was sitting at home and minding my own business when I suddenly received a call! Usually, I let it go to voicemail. Who has time to listen to silly messages when you're watching Megan Fox running through a desert in a really tight outfit in Transformers 2 ( tell you don't do that and I'll call you a liar!). Anyway, I decided to answer it.

As it turns out, it was a relationship problem of some of my friends. I'm not going to go into detail, but it was pretty bad. Anyway, after two hours of listening and finally hanging up the phone, I began to think ( that's why you heard all those fire engines earlier). I know what you're thinking...oh no, it's another "relationship insight" entry!..Well, you're right!

I don't pretend to be an expert. Nor do I use this media as a platform to attack anyone. I just believe in finding peace and happiness. Sometimes, the ugly truth hurts though. It isn't easy realizing one's mistakes, accepting them, learning from them, and moving on.

Now, I know what alot are going to say now. Well, you're divorced! Yes Iam. And? I've learned from that moment in my life. Do I think getting married was a bad idea? No. I was very happy. Do I think getting divorced was a good idea? No. I hated it, but it made me better. I realized who I was after going through the fire of it. I realized that I love who I am and that I am capable of great love, even after such a destructive event. Do I hate my ex-wife?...no, I don't. I married her because I loved her, but that's in the past. Although I haven't spoken to her since it started, I do wish her the best in life. I can't say if it's reciprocated, since I haven't heard from her. However, her silence speaks volumes. That's ok.

Anyway, back to the topic. Relationships, nowadays, seem like that they have a fast shelf life. They usually last only a few years. If we look back in history, we notice that the relationship shelf life started in the mid-1960's ( Google it!)It pretty much started at the start of the sexual and cultural revolution. Both men and women awoke to a sense of not being bound by anything. To some degree, it was a fresh and radical way of thinking. In other ways, it was the start of the marriage decay.

Now, flash forward to 2010, 60% of marriages end in divorce in the U.S! What happened? When we get down to it, it's the lack of interest in making it work. Back in the day, people wanted their marriage to work. I know some people are thinking that women stood with their men because of money issues. To some extent, that's correct. However, women always had power.

I believe the problem really took flight in the 1980's. It was the "me" decade. What's in it for me? What can I get out of it? That was the common philosophy. That thought took root and found its way into the homes.

Divorces started to skyrocket! People didn't care that they were married for twenty years! They didn't care about the children. It was a mess. The problem became worse.

We are now a society that doesn't like to work for anything. we want satisfaction now! Just look at our everyday lives. We have remotes for everything. We don't even need to leave our house to shop ( Amazon....). We have our movies delivered to our door (Netflix)! We don't even care to show our children how a realtionship should be like (Hustler, Playboy, Penthouse, Spice, and countless others...).

We have forgotten how to be human. We would rather be angry at the other than forgive and move forward. We want to be angry. We want to hate. We want to wish ill to the other. We don't want to heal. We forgot how to truly love. It is easier to hate than to learn to forgive.

I agree that sometimes divorce is the only alternative. Not all stories have a happy ending. However, what would happen if we just hang in there a bit longer? What if we put more effort into our relationships? I'm just making an observation. Sometimes, being steadfast means being isolated. Compromise is the key.

So, my friend's relationship has ended. We're all saddened by it. I know it brought back stuff. I plan to help him the bet I can. It's not easy, but it can be done. All things happen for a reason (or at least we're lead to believe). All we can do is move forward and hope for the best. Keep safe and dream big!