And Now the Weather

Well folks,

It's official. We're getting a storm. It's too early to call it a hurricane, but this is Florida. Anywho, I was thinking how freaked out is Florida when a storm approaches. Granted, it has the right to be. Just look at the storm history here in Florida. Andrew, Hugo, Georges, the 2004 elections... It's been bad. So now, when the storm clouds show their billowy faces, we run to Lowes or Home Depot like Christians running to the church at the first sign of Armageddon.

To tell you the truth, I myself have stocked up. I have enough Ramen Noodles to feed the entire Chinese Army. I have more Vienna Sausage than a gay techno club. I have more....you get the idea....

So here I am. I'm at work and I have just received a message telling us that until otherwise told, we need to report to work tomorrow. That's cool. It's probably just another big ole rainstorm, that's all. it's not even a Category 1 Hurricane. I've laid farts with more wind power than this storm. Oh well, so here we are going crazy over this wannabe storm.

That's the story here in Florida. We're smack dab in the middle of hurricane alley. We're downwind from Africa, when it wants to release one of its ecological snot rockets. I swear we should sue Africa for every hurricane that slams into us. We'd be out of debt in no time.

My whole deal is this...We know that we live in a highly dangerous area. It's the same as living next to a volcano, living in L.A. earthquake zone, Tornado Alley in the Midwest, living next to Hulk Hogan. If we know this, then why do we live in ultra sucky houses. Or even worse, mobile homes! It's like a freakin' giant black cloud magnet! It's like wearing shiny lip gloss in prison. You're just asking to be......well, you know.

If you ask me. I actually like the rain. I remember that when I lived in Washington State, I had a great time. It rained 300 days out of the year. Here in Florida, We get the same 300 days of rain in one storm. Kind of evens out, I guess.

I guess my life is very metaphoric. I'm constantly getting hit by storms. It's like a dwarf strapping on some boxing gloves ( laced with brass knuckles) and going to town on my genitalia. All the while this is happening, I have to put on the big ole smile. Oh well, life goes on...

Well folks, I know that this "storm" is going to be soooo weak. So, I'm not worried. Take care y'all. Keep safe and dream big.