Hey crazy cats, I hope everyone is having a great weekend and are safe. I just decided to sit down and type away at the keyboard. I have used it, for some time, to let my feelings out in a constructive way. You can type away anything your heart feels and the keyboard can take it. At times, I write funny stuff. There are other times where I make entries that are very mysterious. For the most part, I am straight to the point. Lately, I have been letting the readers in my personal life. I receive messages from friends and guests about how they enjoy the blog. I have received some advise and I greatly appreciate it.
As I stated in the last entry, I have been going through some tough times. I was in a relationship in which I was very satisfied and, for the first time in a long time, very happy. Unfortunately, it ended very abruptly. I thought to myself "what happened"? I thought things were going pretty good. We had a great weekend. We enjoyed each others company and we were laughing like mad. It wasn't another person. It wasn't an argument over political or religious beliefs. It wasn't over addictions. It was over growing.
Now, let me explain... We all must grow in a relationship. If we think that a relationship is supposed to be the same since day one, we have a recipe for disaster. We should never take for granted the love and caring of the other person. We must treat them as we want to be treated. This was present in our relationship. So... what was it? I believe it was fear. Fear of falling in love and trusting someone.
Relationships are hard to manage. Even those who have been married for over 50 years can tell you that there are times when it becomes hard work. When we have a partner in our lives, we should strive to always take them into consideration, without losing our identity in them. Love will make us do beautiful things for those we cherish. Their pain is our pain. Their triumphs are our triumphs. What happens when we change the layout of a relationship?
Loving someone means you are subject to getting hurt. Yes, love is grand! Yes, love feels good! However, love hurts sometimes. Being in love means you're going to be hurt. If you don't want to get bruised, you don't want to play football; if you don't want to fall down, you don't want to ski. The same is true for relationships: If you don't want to get emotionally hurt, you don't want to be in love. Why? Because you're going to love another fallible human being who is going to make mistakes, who is going to have faults, and who is going to inadvertently hurt you. You, too, are a fallible human being and you're going to make mistakes. You are going to do things that hurt your partner, even if you don't want or mean to.
Some people expect too much in a relationship. They depend on the other person to be their personal caretaker. They hang on every decision made by the other person and don't care to have an opinion of their own. They try to become a carbon copy of the other person, not realizing the a relationship is most beautiful when two people bring diversity into it.
Other people expect too little from a relationship. They are so sure they can never feel whole and complete with another human being that they never give themselves the chance to have their needs for love and intimacy met. They equate intimacy with pain and do everything they can to insulate and protect themselves from it. They do not know that there are two kinds of pain: pathological pain that comes from dysfunctional, unsafe relationships and the healthy pain of growth in normal intimate relationships.
We can't expect to get things right the first time in any relationship. Arguments will come up and tears will be shed. It is, after all, love. Whether we chose to ignore it or accept it, it is always present. Hearts will be broken and mended. I love you and I'm sorry will continue to be said. We should begin to change our ways and embrace the love that another person has given to us. It is a gift after all.
So where does that leave me? I'm still alone. However, I shall continue to give myself fully in any relationship. I hope that things will change. I hope that tomorrow will bring better news. My faith tells me that it will. In the meantime, I will be always ready. life is beautiful. We should enjoy it all. it's the only one we have. Keep safe and dream big!
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