Father Knows Beast

Well, another week has gone and another weekend is upon us. Thank God for weekends and paydays! Work wasn't bad this week. It wasn't good either, but that's ok. I'll soon be doing upgrades to the blog. I want to make it more enjoyable.

Anywho, moving on to this week's entry. My best friend recently told me he is going to be a dad. I am really glad that God has finally decided to slap him upside the head with a little bundle of joy. Fatherhood teaches everyone the reality of what it is to be human.... WHAT THE HELL AM I TALKING ABOUT!!!! Let me tell you a little about my buddy.

He is the most anti social person in the existence of the human race. He literally hates everything! Well, almost everything. He does like ESPN and beer. Anywho, it's hard to imagine him cuddling up to a defenseless little human being and be all cutesy. You may say, " Sam, aren't you being too rough?". I'll say to you," What are you crazy?!". This is the same guy who wore a t-shirt with an image of an alien embryo, dipped in formagahide in a glass jar on Freakin' Good Friday while he went to eat at a restaurant!!!!! This guy is as warm and fuzzy as a razor cut to the genitalia, while being sprayed with lemon juice and salt!! His favorite movie is probably "Faces of Death". As a matter of fact, it wasn't until recently that I pointed out to him that "The Exorcist" was not a musical comedy. His favorite Christian Rock Band is Pantera!

However, I know has is going to be a great dad. I am going to laugh myself into a coffin if it's a girl, though. He is going to be more protective than a super industrial strength Trojan condom. She'll be lucky to read or write by the age of 30. I can imagine him taking his daughter to the first day of school...with a 50cal. mounted on the minivan. Oh yes, the minivan. Nothing says I hate humanity and all it's rules like a minivan. He's going to learn to hate Barney with an absolute demonic hatred. He is going to love life. His existence as he knows it has ended.

He is going to learn that one little phrase will melt his heart ( i love you daddy). I truly am very happy for him. I wish him and his wife the best. They are going to make great parents.

Well, folks, that does it for me. Keep safe and dream big.

for my best friend Rod......