Tuesday, September 16, 2008

The Longest Mile


Usually, after a long day at work, i get into my car and head for home. The traffic is usually heavy, but it's manageable. The commute home takes about 30 minutes from work to home. That's the way of Florida life. However, yesterday will go down in the history books as the day that literally took the cake, dropped the ball, went there, slapped the nun, punted the baby, dropped kick grandma.... well, you get the idea.

What started out as a "normal" trip home ended as me wanting to get my hands on God, the Governor, and the rest of mankind. I noticed that the Tampa Area is ill equipped to handle even tapping it's stomach while rubbing its head. A gas main had ruptured a few miles before reaching home. The I-75 overpass,that goes over the road I travel, was also closed. So as I approached the detour, I contemplated how was I going to get home. You might say "take a side road, Sam." I would respond "ok." And so I took the side roads and noticed that the first road took straight into a dead end. So, I took another road. This is when the lyrics of " Hotel California" began to go through my mind. I figured head north and you'll eventually get to your home. Not so. After twenty minutes of heading north, I saw a sign that said main road. I thought this was easy. Too easy... It was just that. Not only did I hit the road I wanted, I was five miles back from the place I started from! I started out at the head of the pack. Now, I was at the end! I screamed bloody murder! I thought" what the heck just happened?!"

I immediately called my uncle to help me out. He got on the computer faster than a fat kid on candy and looked up a map to guide me out of the mess like some kind of cyber-sherpa. I went left , right , around , and under. Guess what? I ended right back at the same spot. I tried going back towards the city. However, the traffic was backed up for hours. I was literally trapped in a traffic jam.
I gave up and stood there until the police opened the road once more. It wasn't that I was being headstrong. It was just that I felt as if no matter how much I tried I was going to get nowhere. I did just that for what seemed an eternity.
As I sat there, I thought about the strange way the city set up the roads. I noticed that the side streets lead to nowhere. It's like a big loop. The funny part about it was that I wasn't the only village idiot following the guy in front of me to lead me out of madness. I felt like a lemming as I followed the guy in front of me.
Then, I felt even more hopeless when my uncle led me through the mess and back to the end of the line. It was like using a gps to find a pimple on your back ( if you think that what I said didn't make sense, that was the point).
I can't help to think of the mess we in Tampa will be in when the poop hits the fan. I mean, having just one access road is stupid. It's like letting a chimp try to paint the Mona Lisa. It's like sticking a fork in a wall socket. It's like George W. Bush in the White House...well, you get the idea.
Another thing that bothers me is the fact that I followed the other who didn't have a clue on where they were going. I blindedly followed them like Michael Jackson following kids into Disney World. There was a lesson to be learned from this experience. Unfortunately, I have yet to learn what it is.
Anywho folks, let me call it a entry for now. Tomorrow is hump day. Hopefully, the week will start to turn around. Keep safe and dream big.

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