Happy Ramahanikwanzistmas Kipur and a Happy New Year! Part 2

Hey crazy cats,

Well, it's less than a month before Christmas and people are going crazy buying gifts. This time of year is meant to enjoy, not meant to go criminally insane. Yet, every year.we fall into the commercial market's evil web. We always say that this year we aren't going to fall for the traps, but we do. We are as helpless as Clay Aiken to a YMCA shower room.

When we finally get our gifts and make it home, the battle begins. We haul in the U Haul full of gifts into the house and try not to let anyone see the gifts. We invent new places to hide these gifts. We look like squirrels hiding nuts , when it comes to gifts. Its like the obstacle course on Double Dare when it comes time to find the gifts we've hidden.

Then, the real hell begins....Decorating the house!!! Granted, some of us are conservative when it comes to "dressing" up the house. However, we are Americans. That means that we will always try to outdo the other guy. We get out the thousands of miles of Christmas lights and embark on a journey that few have returned sane from. We risk life and limb to put the lights on our house. If your Puerto Rican, don't bother we already have them up from last year. We never bother to bring them down. Anyway, once we endure the cursing up several different storms, the constant nagging of the renegade blown bulb, and the several near death experiences we are finally done with fixing up the outside of the house.

The funny thing is that the job is half done. Next, we get into the car and drive to the edge of the universe. This is all because your love of your life, the one you cherish, the person that's is going to go missing and end up on the news and amber alerts, heard of a store that sells beautiful real Christmas Trees. You know full well this this odyssey is going to end up with someone saying something, in anger, that should've been kept to oneself. Oh well, tis the season.

You finally arrive at the place ( it's right next to Jimmy Hoffas body). You see so many trees. You realize that you're going to spend the next seven hours looking at trees. You wonder what the difference is between them. A trees is a tree, right? WRONG!!!! Apparently, modern science has made it where you can pretty much chose from a billion selections! And you thought going shoe shopping was a nightmare.

After, what seems like an eternity, you get the tree you want. Paul Bunyon comes out and whacks it down for you ( squirrel, crows, and all). They strap the giant Redwood to the top of your rag top Mazda Miata (good luck on driving it home with all the crazies on the road). You notice that the price for the tree is more than an RV Motor home. So after you sell your dignity and do something that you pray doesn't make it on YouTube, you leave crying with your tail between your legs. And to think, this is all the beginning. Don't you just love the holidays? Keep safe and dream big.