The Doctor Will See You Now

OK folks. Here we go! You're gonna love this bit of info that I read over at FoxNews.com. It seems like our Aussie friends have blacklisted a medical procedure. Apparently, they have found reason to say no to designer vaginas. That's right folks, designer vaginas! I'm not criticizing the Australian Board of Medicine. What I'm flippin' wondering is who in their right mind would subject themselves to such a procedure? Holy freakin cow, man! I mean it isn't that pretty to begin with, so why bother trying to fix it. It's like trying to put braces on a dog's teeth.

The article goes into explaining in one occasion a man walked in and asked a doctor, while showing him a pornographic picture, to make his girlfriends coos-coos look like the pornstar's!! That's some serious hatin'! If I were her, I'd kill him for just suggesting the notion of me committing myself to such a procedure. You see, and then you all think that I'm the one who is crazy.

So, my question is the following... Is cosmetic surgery going overboard? The answer is not just yes, but hell to the yes! I thought I heard it all with anal bleaching.( hey pick youself off the floor! stop laughing.) That's right, anal bleaching. This is the funny part. You see, people are tired of their pooper looking ....well....like a pooper. Sooooooo. someone had the brilliant idea and thought" hey, i wish my pooper looked alot whiter." Then, anal bleaching was born.

The things that people will do just to look "good". I can't imagine someone walking into the hospital where I work at and say"hi, I'm here for my 2 o'clock anal bleaching." Then, the procedure must be very creepy. I can't imagine myself getting something like that. I would rather eat shreaded glass before I do something like that.

Anyway, so medical science has gone overboard. Now, if you're tired of any part of your body, you can have it changed. I would not be surprised if next week you can get designer eye balls. Or even better yet, designer scrotums with bling bling diamonds studs.

Well folks, if you ask me , this world has gone crazy. At least it's no longer a boring world. Who knows, maybe next week I'll be able to join the U.S. Olympic pole vault team (without needing a pole vault.) Keep safe and dream big. ( I know I do).

Total Meltdown

This entry today isn't meant to be funny or sarcastic. Today's entry comes from an open heart in look for answers. Maybe through these means I can find the answer I'm looking for.

You ever had one of those days when you felt as if existence was against you? What do you do when life keeps handing you bad moments? Do you feel as if you can't carry on? Do you rebel against everything? Do you give up?

Now, imagine all that with facing these problems with a medical condition. The condition I speak of is depression. There are times when I feel as if I'm on top of the world. Other days, I feel as if I'm underneath it. I have a great support system, in the form of family and professionals, that help me. Yet, they can't prevent those tough moments from coming into my life. For the past few years, i have been going through the most turbulent times in my life. Now, as a person who suffers from depression, I know that alot things one has to let it go or else risk going into a spiral. Imagine now, that you feel as if not even God himself isn't listening to you. What do you do? For the longest time, I thought that not thinking about it would help me get through it. However, the less I thought about it, the more it came into my mind. Then. I tried distractors. I tried fishing, fighting, drawing, canoeing, shooting, hunting, etc... Although I did good in everything I did, I hated doing them. It wasn't because I didn't like doing the hobbies, it was because I knew the reason why I was doing the hobbies. It seems like an endless cycle.

Now before anyone goes and lectures me on how this is going to make me a stronger person, or there are alot worse off people than me, let me say one thing...SHUT YOUR FREAKIN' TRAP!

I'm tired of all the pep talks. I'm tired of all the inspirational chats. I'm tired of " there will be a better tomorrow". There comes a moment in one's life where you reach your end of your wits. I, unfortunately, am there.

For the past two years, I've been trying my hardest to do my best. My marriage went down the tubes. For most of you who know, I fought for my marriage tooth and nail to save it. The advise that was given to me was "it was never meant to be". What a bunch of crap! The reason the United States leads the world in divorce is because we were all fed that crap! I remember growing up and hardly hearing of divorce. Couples fought for their marriage. Being married meant something. It's no longer "till death do us part"; it's more like "till I find something better". No one is willing to fight for anything anymore. It's always the easy way out.

I understand that there are issues that rock the very fabric of marriage. Trust me, I've been through some. What ever happened to I'm not going to be another divorce statistic? I guess no one has the guts anymore.

Let me let you in on a little Sam secret. I suffer from depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Adult ADD, and thinking that Disney Movies are meant to be emotional. I could've just said "I quit!" However,I didn't. Something within me makes me wake up in the morning with the desire to keep fighting. I don't want to lose. Then again, I hate it when people give me wishy washy pep talks. Save it for your school's football team when they lose the state championship. I'm tired of hearing it wasn't meant to be.

Life is what you make it. I realize that. I'm just tired of feeling helpless at times. I'm not a control freak, but i sure wish I could I had a say in things that went on in my life. I'm not going to blame God or whoever you believe in.

The only reason I'm even making this entry is just to vent. I believe that if I let out some steam,rather than let it build, I have an easier time getting through some rough situations. A lot of people may worry by the sound of this entry that it seems like I'm at the end of my rope. That statement couldn't be any further from the truth. I refuse to give up and I will not give up. I'm just getting started.

Honestly though everyone, thank you for hearing my rants. I know alot of you wish me the best and are always there to help me. I sincerely want to thank you all. Soooo, to spare you all from any further rants, I'll think I'll call it an entry. Keep safe and dream big.

Video Blog for 26Jul08

Video Blog for 25JUL2008

A New Start

Well, I finally finished moving this week. Let me start off by saying it was an odyssey. I started moving packing on Wednesday and began moving on Friday. I did not finish till Tuesday morning, sometime around 5 a.m. By the way, I went to work on that day. I have done some incredible things in my life, but never have I gone nearly five days without sleep. Thank God I had friends to help me. I couldn't have done it alone. I would've more likely have gotten upset about half way through the move and set fire to the rest of the things that needed to be moved. All I can say is that I truly hate moving.

As many of you may know, my life is going pretty good now. The only problem is that I wish that people would stop trying to play match maker with me. Seriously folks, I'm happy the way I am. just because I'm alone doesn't mean that I'm lonely. I actually enjoy my free time. I'm not looking to jump into a relationship. My last relationship left a bad impression on me. I stopped believing in some things. I was once told that love never fails. Love doesn't fail, it's us who fail. Now, I'm the first one to admit that love stinks. However, once you fall into its G.I. Joe kung fu grip, you don't want to let it go. I guess it's like when you were a little kid and you would try to stick your fingers into the light socket. You knew it was bad, but you liked it.

Anyway, as I was saying... I finished moving and I'm extremely happy that I moved. The last place was a cemetary of memeories, in which I was suffering on a daily basis. The new place is a new start for me. To be truthful, this the first place I have ever gotten on my own. That's kind of amazing, if you ask me.

well, folks. I'm sorry for the brief notes, but for one thing, I have to catch up on some sleep and second, I have an apartment to fix up. As always, keep safe and dream big!