SamVidBlog News for 30AUG2008

Guess whose 50?

I found out via the news that Michael Jackson turns 50 this month. His nose will be 20 and his his skin is 17. No matter how flipping weird this individual is, no matter how broke he is ( he's more broke than MC Hammer), no matter how much you hate him, he still can cause news.

Some people will say that he made his bed, now he has to lay in it. Hopefully, with no young boys. He became the biggest thing since indoor plumbing and then went stupid. The guy owned everything from his own personal amusement park to the bones of the elephant man. Then, madness ensued.

First came all of the plastic surgery. All those nose jobs even scared the most veteran plastic surgery junkies in Hollywood. So what's wrong with the nose he had? Now, it looks like he stole Sailor Moon's Nose! Oh! Let's not start with the cheek bones. Before you guys remind me, I have not forgotten the chin. Way to go Mikey! I have a question. What is real on his face? the world may never know.

Then, came the controversial skin color procedure. He literally turned white! The man went from a black man to a scary looking white chick! Holy crap! I bet God is scratching his head saying," I don't recall making that lady...." I remember that the African American Community went ballistic over that. Jacko claims is was because of Vitiligo.riiiiiigggghhhhhttttttt. I remember seeing an article in San Diego about a news anchorman who was diagnosed with Vitiligo and he didn't change his color. He puts on make up and covers it up when he's on TV. Afterwards, he takes it off and is content with his skin condition. That's a hero.

Anywho... back to Mr.Under-the-Radar... I really hope he can get back on his feet and leave the weirdness behind. He went to court so many times for alleged child molestation and giving "Jesus Juice" to kids...Wow!...Like holy freakin wow! As a star he should know better to hang around people who can cause trouble. Not Jacko. He thinks that he's immune to these problems.

Then there was the fiasco when he went to Bahrain. he totally insulted the whole Muslim Religion by DRESSING LIKE A MUSLIM WOMAN! This came on the heels of him converting to Islam from Christianity ( Jehovah's Witness). Dear God! What next?.. Offering Buddha Lapland surgery? The Christians were glad he left and the Muslims think he's too freakin weird. For the first time in modern religion Muslims and Christians actually meet eye to eye on a subject that they both agree upon 100%. Go figure.

So here we are, 50 years of strange. It could be worse. we could have Billy Idol still singing. Or even worse.... Celine Dion could've been born here..Take care folks. Keep safe and dream big!

And Now the Weather

Well folks,

It's official. We're getting a storm. It's too early to call it a hurricane, but this is Florida. Anywho, I was thinking how freaked out is Florida when a storm approaches. Granted, it has the right to be. Just look at the storm history here in Florida. Andrew, Hugo, Georges, the 2004 elections... It's been bad. So now, when the storm clouds show their billowy faces, we run to Lowes or Home Depot like Christians running to the church at the first sign of Armageddon.

To tell you the truth, I myself have stocked up. I have enough Ramen Noodles to feed the entire Chinese Army. I have more Vienna Sausage than a gay techno club. I have more....you get the idea....

So here I am. I'm at work and I have just received a message telling us that until otherwise told, we need to report to work tomorrow. That's cool. It's probably just another big ole rainstorm, that's all. it's not even a Category 1 Hurricane. I've laid farts with more wind power than this storm. Oh well, so here we are going crazy over this wannabe storm.

That's the story here in Florida. We're smack dab in the middle of hurricane alley. We're downwind from Africa, when it wants to release one of its ecological snot rockets. I swear we should sue Africa for every hurricane that slams into us. We'd be out of debt in no time.

My whole deal is this...We know that we live in a highly dangerous area. It's the same as living next to a volcano, living in L.A. earthquake zone, Tornado Alley in the Midwest, living next to Hulk Hogan. If we know this, then why do we live in ultra sucky houses. Or even worse, mobile homes! It's like a freakin' giant black cloud magnet! It's like wearing shiny lip gloss in prison. You're just asking to be......well, you know.

If you ask me. I actually like the rain. I remember that when I lived in Washington State, I had a great time. It rained 300 days out of the year. Here in Florida, We get the same 300 days of rain in one storm. Kind of evens out, I guess.

I guess my life is very metaphoric. I'm constantly getting hit by storms. It's like a dwarf strapping on some boxing gloves ( laced with brass knuckles) and going to town on my genitalia. All the while this is happening, I have to put on the big ole smile. Oh well, life goes on...

Well folks, I know that this "storm" is going to be soooo weak. So, I'm not worried. Take care y'all. Keep safe and dream big.

Seven Mary 3 and 4

So there I was, minding my own business, when a strange thought entered my mind. I was thinking about my childhood when TV shows from my childhood popped into my head. As I thought about these mind-numbing programs, the grand daddy of them all popped in and layed to waste all brain cells that were left. I was thinking about CHiPS! Ah yes, the TV series the set the record straight and brought to light the truth about the California Highway Patrol.


I remember being mesmerized by the opening sequence. It usually went like this... The scene would be one of tranquility on the L.A. Freeway. First of all, for those who have ever driven on the L.A. Freeway, IT IS NEVER TRANQUIL! You can literally be the Pope and once you get on that freeway, you lose your soul to the devil. You want to kill everybody in your way. Anyway, a super hot blonde will be driving her Chevy Nova in the left hand lane, going 20mph slower than the slow lane. When, all of a sudden, some jokers speed past by them. This, in turn, causes the biggest car wreck in the history of American Automobile Driving History! They look like Lemmings smashing into each other! It's so re-freakin'-diculous. So, here come the CHiPPers. A big chase ensues, in which the bad guys get away. ( cue the disco music intro).


Now, for the rest of the show, you are subjected to the worst story plots and dumbest excuse for criminals the world has ever seen. The story plots usually involved Officer Frank Poncherello pursuit of a skirt and officer John Baker's plight to crack a freakin' smile. Along the way, they solve petty crimes, all the while riding their motorcycles.


Many things bothered me about the show. Below is a list of some things that really irked me.

1. How come Ponch never caught an STD?


2. How come Ponch was never seen with a woman?


3. No one died in those huge car wrecks!


4. Two words: moose knuckles


5. They never drew their weapons!


6. Not a single shot was fired!( It's L.A. for Christ's sake)


7. How could they breath in those super tight uniforms?


8. What the hell was the difference between CHiPs and CHiPs Patrol?


9. What's the deal with Barney? Didn't they have wieght standards back then?


10. Why were Eric Estrada's teeth so spooky white?!

As a kid, I didn't really ponder these questions. As an adult, they really got under my skin. I knew that there was something off about the series. I just didn't know what it was. However, I look back at those times and smile. They were the best times of my youth. Who knows? maybe one day somebody will write about how big of a crock shows from today are. Until then, Keep safe and dream big!

Let The Games Begin

I am a huge fan of the Olympics. I love watching the spirit competition in full bloom. I love the the raw emotion when an athlete overcomes the odds and wins. I love to see the athletes cry as their nation's anthem is played, while they stand on the medals stand. Most of all, I love to see the opening ceremony. It is the moment when the hosting country takes center stage and goes all out and amazes its audience with a spectacular show for all to see.


If you're like me, chances are you are, you watch the Olympics from the comfort of your own home. You try to see the opening ceremony live. Granted China is half way around the world. Hey, we live in the age of the Internet. No more time delays, or so I thought. Seems like NBC didn't want anyone to see the flippin' opening ceremony, unless it was through their network. They literally blocked almost every single outlet. I had to wait till 7:30 pm EST, 6:30 CEN, to see the opening ceremony. That's fine. Well, 7:30 rolls around and I log onto an Internet TV site. I "tuned" in and what was I greeted with? NOTHING! They blocked their own networks! After an hour of trying to find an alternative, I decided to head to YouTube. Guess what? Apparently, the Nazis got their before I did. They threatened with lawsuits, fines, excommunication, and killing their eldest child if they didn't get their way.


Talk about ridiculous. They ruined my evening. However, I did manage to see some highlights of the ceremony. The Chinese went all out. They had more than 10,000 performers! They literally had more Chins than a Chinese phonebook performing that night! Let's not mention the fireworks. I think that they set off more fireworks than we dropped bombs in all the wars the United States had ever been in!...TWICE!
I heard that the Chinese government and the IOC got into some scruff because the performers didn't smile enough. Well, I say that you wouldn't be smiling too if you knew that one mess up and you become chop suey. The Chinese government has alot riding on these games. It's like they're saying to the world " Whatchu Got?!" They're not going to let anyone mess it up for them.
To me, the games are a time for all of humanity to reflect on peace. I reflect on how we can make the spirit of competition more gorish. I have a new line of Olympic games. Hopefully, you'll enjoy them too.

1. water polo ( with sharks)
2. 100 meter dash (with snipers)
3. fencing (with machete)
4. diving (into an empty pool)
5. bare fisted boxing
6. synchronized suicide
7. beach volleyball (with landmines)

Those were some of the games in my Olympic world. Granted, it will be hell to win, but think of the endorsements! Anyway, I am catching a live feed from Beijing. I think that makes up for the anger I had last night. Well folks, you'll be hearing more about the games. I hope you stick around. Enjoy your weekend. Keep safe and dream big!

The WTF of the Month

Ok, I have nothing against anyone who is trying to form a family to start off... My good friend Veronica sent me an email that literally left me speachless. I thought that things like this were folk lore material, but to my astonishment they are true. Apparently, there is a 16 year old Argentinian girl who has seven (YES SEVEN) kids. From what I read, she had one kid at 14 years old. Wow, where were her parents on that one. Then, she had a set of triples at 15. Finally, for now, at 16 she has a second set of triples! Holy Moses! That's insane! People in her town are upset at her and the family. Rightfully so. She is trying to get assistance from the government because, as you guessed it, she is a single parent!

Seven kids before the age of 17! This borders on unbelievable! How could anyone let their child get to this extreme? For one, evidence shows that the kid had sex before she was old enough to even drive! When I think of that age, I think of little girls giggling over Justin Timberlake and watching Hanna Montana. I really believe that both the girl and her parents are at fault for this outcome. She is not even old enough to truly comprehend the impact that this is going to have on her and her kids. I just can't understand why.

I can't see this girl dating anyone anytime soon. As soon as the secret is out, the guy is going to hit the bricks faster than a crackhead hittin' the pipe. That poor girl is so stretched out that her next kid is going to have a womb with a view! The kid could pretty much walk out, doing cart wheels, while twirling a baton, without touching the sides. It's pretty much destroyed. I bet it's like the Lincoln Tunnel. Ok, enough of that....

Anyway folks, since I am at work, I think I should get back to doing some work. It's not like I'm rich or something. Gotta get my beans one way or another. Keep safe and dream big!

Typical Monday

I've seen some better days. Boy, today seemed to drag on and on. I had my heart set on going to the dojo, but to my surprise, they're closed for the week. Oh well, I'm there next Monday. As I was saying, work was typical today. It's pretty much the same thing over and over. Let me describe to you a typical day at the hospital.

I arrived at the parking lot assigned to us around 7:40 every morning. I catch the bus from the parking lot to the hospital. I start working at 8 am every morning. This is where the madness begins. You see, I deal with veterans. Usually, they are very nice. They come up to you and you check them in for their appointment. They make their way to a chair, have a seat, and wait to be called. (Now you know that I was going to throw a monkey wrench into this.) However, everyday we get one patient who thinks he/she is better than the rest. Either they do not like waiting or they beleive that they know the system inside and out. Sometimes they are easy to difuse. Lately, that has not been the case. We treat all of them with upmost respect. But, oh boy,do they try us!

After awhile, to break up the monotany, we come up with different games to play. One of my favorites is the Google search of the day. We think of something from our childhood and we begin a Google search for it. It's amazing the things that you find!

By the end of the day, I ready to leave work and head for home. However, as fate's hairy palm hand would have it, getting home is an adventure. Traffic here is getting worse. Oh well, suck it up I guess. It could be worse. I don't know how, but I bet it could get worse.

Oh well, at least I got my fun job and I'm healthy. That's enough for me. Well folks, y'all have a good week. Remember to make work fun. You're stuck there for eight hours a day. Take it easy . Keep safe and dream big!

Fast Foward

Hey folks,

Well, another weekend gone. I can't believe we're already in August. This used to be my favorite month, but that has changed. I had a pretty cool weekend. I saw some old friend, whom I haven't seen in awhile. Also, I have some good news. I am starting a webpage that deals with music. I am going to be teaching the basics of guitar. I'll start off with Spanish-based rhythms and then progress to American. Hopefully, it will work out fine. I'm doing it for two reasons. The first reason is because I love to teach. The second reason is because I want to get more experience in video editing. Let's see how this venture works out.

Anyway, back to the time thing... Wow! The year is more then half done. I can safely say this year was a little bit rougher, emotionally, than last year. However, I have definately have had more fun this year. I remember when I was growing up..... oh wait a minute, I sound like an old dude.....anywho, I remember how time stood still. Now even before I can finish farting the week is up. It's not easy being thirty-something and single with no kids. Some people may say that I have it made. I see it as a curse. With no one beside me, I wonder if I should just give it all up and become a monk. That wouldn't work for me because...well.... let's leave it at that. I thought that by now I would have some kids. I always wanted to embarrass them in front of their friends and make them wish I never existed. That's part of the joys of parenthood. I'm just upset that I'm missing out. You may say "Sam, why don't you adopt?" I would say " And risk of getting a kid like you?!" Just playing... I don't know if I can. I am a guy and statistically it's harder for a single guy to adopt. With all the wackos out there, it's amazing someone hasn't come along and taken me away from myselfand put into an orphanage. Maybe one day I'll be a dad. I really want to do things right.

So, my plan for this week is to go back to training. I know that Mr. Heimberger is going to have a field day with me. I'll try to go to the beginners class so that I can warm up and break in again. I sure did miss going to the classes. So many things got in the way of me going. This time, I am going to make myself go to the classes. So, wish me luck. I'm going to need it.

Another thing is that I ask everyone to help me out and keep me in your prayers. I'm going through a rough moment and I need all the help I can get. Well, kiddies. It's time for me to mosey on out of here. have a great week and as always...Keep safe and dream big!

Food For Thought

Hey crazy cats,

The weekend id finally here and it's time to unwind. This has been one crazy week for me. Work was work,as always. One thing I try to do know is I try to learn a new lesson. This week's lesson was kind of rough. I had to learn when to let things go and let time takes its course. This, by far, is a tough lesson. We, as humans, tend to want to hold onto things that are familiar and dear to us. We try to resist change as much as we can. At times , we accept the change with arms wide open. Other times, we tend to run from it like running away from an ugly, drunk fat chick. Another lesson that I learned is that no matter how hard you try, there are times when you cannot outrun what is meant to be. No matter how hard you try, there are things in life that you must confront and accept.

I want to pose a question. Before you answer, think about it and really give it some thought. How far would you go to save what you most love ( be it your child, wife, husband, sister, etc...) In the Bible, it says something about laying down your life for your fellow man. In the Armed Forces, they teach you to lay down your life for your country. In marriage, you make a promise for richer or for poor, in sickness or in health, till death do you part. But, is this true? Do we really believe in all those words? We tend to look for exceptions to the rules before we even apply them to our everyday lives. We're constantly looking for excuses. Granted, there are situations where we must weigh all the resources at hand. Besides those situations, we would rather give up easily and look for something else rather than fight for what we believe in.

I ask all of those who right this entry not to settled for the norm. Let's challenge ourselves to break the status quo and fight for what we believe in. We only have one life. Why must we conform ourselves to live a life where when something goes wrong we back away from it or say that;s life it was meant to be. We are all better than that. We can be leaders in a new way of thinking. We should never accept defeat. We must learn from our defeat and challenge it once more. As long as the sun rises in the morning, failure is never permanent. To err is human, forgiveness is divine, and to triumph in the face of adversity is to have an unbreakable spirit. Keep safe and dream big.