Today's topic is about keeping sanity, grace, and strength during rough times. There are times, in every one's life, where we just want to throw in the towel and hang up the gloves. You know what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the epic adventure of shopping at Walmart!
I, for one, have a Super-Duper-Mega-Collossal-Epic-24 hour-7 Day A Week (even on Rapture Day) Store in my neck of the woods. It literally sits right across the street from me. It is a Mecca for those who wish to spend their money. It's like a mega mall right at your fingertips.
A couple of interesting things about this place, which also brings me to the essence of this entry...
- No matter what time or day it is, the place is always, and I mean ALWAYS, packed. I swear the place is a mall purgatory!
- You can never ever find parking! I once witnessed a lady trying to park as I walked in the store. When I left, two hours later (reason behind that to come), she was STILL looking for a spot!
- I don't mind Walmart hiring handi-capable people. But why, tell me why do they have to hire some really strange handi-capable people? You know the ones I'm talking about too! They look like circus show runaways! They look like they escaped from the Ripley's Believe It or Not exhibit!( going to hell for that one). They take 45 minutes just to put one item into a bag. And while I'm on the subject, why is it that they can tell you EVERYTHING Paul, Ringo, John and George ever did but can't tell you where the hell is the dental floss aisle is at!?
- What's the deal with the Walmart Security System thingy always ringing on me? It doesn't ring on anyone else! i can have a stick of gum in the bag and I'll be pulled over and groped as if by TSA at the airport as if I'm going on a transcontinental flight to Yemen.
- What the heck is up with 40 billion registers and only TWO of them are open!!!! I swear the lines are soooooooo long. Then you get the little "juvey" delinquent whose got an attitude all the time. it isn't my fault you got busted selling smack at recess to your friends. Just scan my bubble gum and don't look at me with your yellow eyes, ugly perm/weave/balding hair and messed up teeth all angry cause you don't know how to scan the thing right. you already made me wait in your line for at least an hour just to get up to you, in time to hear you complain that you haven't taken your break yet. News flash! You work at Walmart! You get no breaks!
- Why is it no one speaks English! I've heard Spanish, Hindi, Tagalog, Pashtun, German, Arabic, Swahili, Russian, Greek, Hebrew, Italian, French, Creole, Portuguese, Slavic, Cantonese, Mandarin, Punjabi, and even Pig-Latin! All I wanted was dental floss and I left with gum!
- Why is it that I always get that one senior citizen who wants to pay for their $1500 40 inch flat-screen TV in pennies! My question is why??????? All they do is watch "The Price is Right" and "Maurey"! You don't need hi-def for that!
- I love the mom who thinks it's OK for her 30 kids to run around the store, grab the bicycles off the rack and ride around the store on them. Then she tries to act all motherly and say she's going to place them in "time out" if they don't behave. Lady they just killed the old guy, who bought the 40 inch flat-screen TV! Go over there and beat the snot out of them! I'll watch your cart as you do. Heck, it's only got a couple of boxes of Massengil and a Danielle Steele novel in it anyway. No one wants to take that.
- I know that Walmart is a multi-billion dollar corporation. why is it that they can't replace their messed up carts? All of the carts have at least one wheel that's "jacked up". Do you know how annoying that is when you hear the clacketie clack throughout your hell-on-earth ordeal?
- Finally, we come to the final thing that annoys me about Walmart. Why do they sell guns and ammo right next to the back to school supplies? That's messed up! Just saying.....
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