Beaner 2009-Third Ad

Happy Ramahanikwanzistmas Kipur and a Happy New Year! Part 2

Hey crazy cats,

Well, it's less than a month before Christmas and people are going crazy buying gifts. This time of year is meant to enjoy, not meant to go criminally insane. Yet, every year.we fall into the commercial market's evil web. We always say that this year we aren't going to fall for the traps, but we do. We are as helpless as Clay Aiken to a YMCA shower room.

When we finally get our gifts and make it home, the battle begins. We haul in the U Haul full of gifts into the house and try not to let anyone see the gifts. We invent new places to hide these gifts. We look like squirrels hiding nuts , when it comes to gifts. Its like the obstacle course on Double Dare when it comes time to find the gifts we've hidden.

Then, the real hell begins....Decorating the house!!! Granted, some of us are conservative when it comes to "dressing" up the house. However, we are Americans. That means that we will always try to outdo the other guy. We get out the thousands of miles of Christmas lights and embark on a journey that few have returned sane from. We risk life and limb to put the lights on our house. If your Puerto Rican, don't bother we already have them up from last year. We never bother to bring them down. Anyway, once we endure the cursing up several different storms, the constant nagging of the renegade blown bulb, and the several near death experiences we are finally done with fixing up the outside of the house.

The funny thing is that the job is half done. Next, we get into the car and drive to the edge of the universe. This is all because your love of your life, the one you cherish, the person that's is going to go missing and end up on the news and amber alerts, heard of a store that sells beautiful real Christmas Trees. You know full well this this odyssey is going to end up with someone saying something, in anger, that should've been kept to oneself. Oh well, tis the season.

You finally arrive at the place ( it's right next to Jimmy Hoffas body). You see so many trees. You realize that you're going to spend the next seven hours looking at trees. You wonder what the difference is between them. A trees is a tree, right? WRONG!!!! Apparently, modern science has made it where you can pretty much chose from a billion selections! And you thought going shoe shopping was a nightmare.

After, what seems like an eternity, you get the tree you want. Paul Bunyon comes out and whacks it down for you ( squirrel, crows, and all). They strap the giant Redwood to the top of your rag top Mazda Miata (good luck on driving it home with all the crazies on the road). You notice that the price for the tree is more than an RV Motor home. So after you sell your dignity and do something that you pray doesn't make it on YouTube, you leave crying with your tail between your legs. And to think, this is all the beginning. Don't you just love the holidays? Keep safe and dream big.

Beaner 2009-Second Ad

Silver Ball In The Air...

Hey crazy cats! So here I am. We are one week away from Thanksgiving. The holidays are almost upon us. 2007 started off kind of rocky and then it just got worse. Rising gas prices, a never ending war , and pregnant man plagued our news media. As for me, I think I finally made a turn for the better. My life is looking really good and I feel great. Hopefully, 2009 will be the year of Sam.

Well, today I stood home from work because I felt a little sick. It could be the change in weather or it could be the fact that I ate 12 sushi rolls. All I know is that I pleased the porcelain god today. I realized that a day home from work is like a day home from school. I just sat around the house and did nothing. I literally drifted in and out of sleep throughout the day. When I was conscience, I managed to log on to YouTube and watch some old episodes of "You Can't Do That On Television". That's right, I watched that show. Hey look, if you don't want to admit that when no body's looking you do the same, that's OK. At least I'm happy to say that I'm that flipping crazy to admit it.

It brought back so many memories of my youth. I remember when my mom used to steal cable from the next door neighbors and we used to watch it. I used to sit in front of the TV every Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. As stated before, I was an 80's kid. In other words, the TV was my nanny. I was easily amused by the often lame Canadian humor that was brought into my home, thanks to Nickelodeon and the stolen cable.

I was jumping for joy when one of the cast members would "slip up" and say the word water. I would pee my pants in delight when someone would utter the words "I don't know?". To me, the show was way ahead of its time. It would tackle subjects that would be current, but put it into a way that young kids would understand. If you have never seen the show, then go over to YouTube and check it out. Trust me, you will not be disappointed.

I loved every sketch on the show. I loved the opposites, Barfs Burgers, the locker jokes, the executions, the bum looking dad, and there's still more to the show. The show was nicely written, without being to condescending to children. It would keep a kid glued to the TV for the half hour duration.

By now, I know that alot of you, who have watched the show, are remembering your favorite parts or episodes. This show is up there with Dangermouse, Thundercats, He-Man, Transformers, G.I. Joe, Murder She Wrote.... wait a minute....let's skip that last one. Well, you get the gist of it.

It was done during a time when it was fun to watch television. The show didn't rely on product placement, violence, sex, or anything offensive to be a delight. I wish that television would go back to that. That's one of the reasons I gave up watching television over five years ago. Way too much garbage on.

Well folks, I'm calling this one done. You all take care. I'll see you this weekend, hopefully, for another edition of SamVidBlog News. Keep those votes coming in. Every vote counts. Come back often. There's going to be more campaign commercials. It's going to be alot of fun. We are going to get alot weirder. Keep safe and dream big!

Beaner 2009