There's Just More To Love

Hey crazy cats! Another glorious week is off to a beautiful start! Things are starting to look up for the better for me. But enough about me. For today's entry, I'm going to go old-school. I'm going back to the style of writing I had done about a year ago. Today's subject is a subject that many laugh at, but we know we are guilty for having them. The subject of the day is..... fat! That's right! I said the "f" word! The word that starts world wars and causes divorces. many people know their overweight ( present company included), but refuse to let someone else tell them that they are. It's kind of funny if you think.

There are many ways to describe fat that finds itself settling in places where we don't want it to set. I mean, come on, why doesn't fat settle in our biceps or triceps? Nope, it settles in our "love handle" region. Some of us have "love handles" so big they should be called "love railings"!

Another region, that has recently been put into the spotlight, is the lower leg extremities. We, of course, are talking about "cankle". Yes! This region was thrown into the spotlight, like some guy throwing a bag full of puppies into traffic, by Monica Lewinsky. No one ever really understood why former President Bill Clinton had such a fascination with this woman. I figure it was one of two things. My first theory is that he had a little fetish with big girls. To tell you the truth, I really never liked skinny women. They nearly always so full of themselves. I can't stand shallow women. my second theory is that he realized that Hillary was more "handsomer" than he was ( I don't know what it means! Just accept it!).

We, as an American society are getting really big. We eat till we burst and we just don't stop! Since I work at a local hospital here in Florida, I see first hand how we address the issue. I have witnessed many times were a patient comes in and wants to lode weight. What's the first thing we do? We put him on a scooter! Why!!!? Oh my Flipping God! It's madness I tell you!

Anyway, I know I was, at one time, a planetoid! I was so flipping big that NASA was shooting space probes at me and making missions to put astronauts on me by 2025! I had a serious weight problem. It was a struggle everyday. It still is. However, the key is to continue and keep on, even if you have setbacks. That's what I've been doing.

I think my wake up call came when my friends told me that the back of my neck looked like I had a pack on "Nathan's Franks" Hotdogs on the back of my neck! That and the fact that I couldn't reach my shoes to tie them. I realized I was setting myself up for a serious health crisis. I had to become more health conscience. So, with a little help and alot of will power, I gave up eating a whole extra-large, hand-tossed, meat-lovers pizza from Pizza Hut ( I wish I were lying) and began to take control of my life. I'm not super-fit ( not by any means), but I'm on the right track. I know I can do better ( and I will get there). I'm just making the changes at a rate where it isn't a total shock to my system.

At any rate, The Global War on Cellulite is ongoing. It shall be won with strategery and unrelentless crusaderism. The fat has misunderestimated me. I shall use my verbosity on it.... Ok, enough of that! Anyway, I'm calling this one done! Keep safe and dream big!

Lasiks with Ginsu Knives

Hello crazy cats, it's another fun-filled hump day! As of late, I've still been feeling a little under the weather, but I have been trying to ignore it and carry on. I guess it couldn't come at a better time because even my workload at work was low. It's kind of like a mini vacation. Anyway, I took this opportunity to reflect and meditate on things that have been affecting my life recently. I have been reflecting and thinking alot, to say the least. These moments have been an eye-opening experience.

Now before I get emails of people saying that I see the world through rose-colored glasses ( God, I hate that expression), let me say that I don't. I just refuse to let the world bring me down any more. I fight for my happiness.

Anyway, good things have been happening to me lately.i even came into some money recently and decided to treat myself. Unfortunately, my original plan did not come to flourish. The plan was to invite some I knew on a weekend fishing trip, but things didn't work out as planned. So, I quickly improvised and called up an old friend. Although we didn't do the fishing trip, we decided to catch a show and watch scary movies till we peed our pants. Actually, she peed, I laughed. Plus, she needed to get out of her house. She was going nuts. She was going through so much. life had her against the ropes and I know that this was a great stress reliever.

I try never to forget about how much our friends and loved ones mean to me. I cherish them with all my heart and they know that I love them dearly. I guess I had forgotten that there are people in this world that genuinely care about you and love you. I know that my family loves me, but it's nice to see others (besides family) can love you too. I recently have noticed that I'm saying things more open now. Before, I tended to hide my feelings, when it came to show of affection. Some series of unfortunate events, have made me face the real fact that you should tell them how you fell because tomorrow may be too late. Now, I'm not talking just about death. It may be that you no longer can say what you feel about that person. Life can be cruel sometimes.

Let me give you an example... I will not mention the names,but it will not matter anyway. The story takes place in 1986. Yeah yeah yeah...I know...ancient history... Anywho, I was in junior high. As I sat down for my first day of class in the new grade (notice I'm not telling you what grade. You figure it out), I met this girl. She was the sweetest girl I had ever met. We became friends and quickly found ourselves hanging around each other a lot. We were like totally awesome friends...Sorry, it's the 80's talking... right... We were pretty much inseparatable. We even went to see "The Goonies" together.I pretty much realized that we were attracted to each other, but I dared not try to make a move. I feared that I would damage what we had. I was already looking towards the break-up before we even dated! It was awful. I had a crush on this girl bigger than the whole United States had on Michael J Fox and Molly Ringwald put together ( by the way, Molly Ringwald is soooooo flipping hot!). I so way wanted to kiss her...again with the 80's talk!

Some how, she noticed the situation and tried to make it easier for me. Do you think this idiot went for it? NO! I was suffering from terminal nerdosity! I guess she got tired and went with some other dude. My heart was broken. I was devastated. I even failed the grade! It took me all summer to forget about her. Why did I let her get away? It was a dumb mistake. Years later, I bumped into her and we chatted. She even brought up the subject of us in school. We laughed and she told me that she had the biggest crush on me. She also said that she was devastated when I didn't ask her to be my girlfriend. I told her the truth. I was too scared. I was scared to live my dream of being her boyfriend. I was scared about the possible problems may might encounter. How stupid is that? So, as she walked away with her child, I realized that I should never hold myself back from being happy. Life is an adventure. Love is an adventure.

So, I bet I have lost everyone on the moral of the story. Well, me too. Anyway, don't live your life scared. Take the risk. You may have the best thing in life happen to you. Keep safe and dream big!

The Fear of Fear

Hey crazy cats! Welcome to another entry in my blog. As many of you know, I have recently evolved the blog into one that has more depth and insight into my life. As always, I will try to deliver an honest and sincere account of what an ordinary person goes through in life. i think it's a good thing because I talk about things that many of us are just too stubborn or afraid to talk about. I'm not afraid to put stuff out there and have people evaluate and either use it or give me some pointers.

My entry today is a sort of puzzling one. There have been good things that have happen to me this weekend. Case in point, I have reunited with my old Navy buddies. It's great to catch up with their lives and to see that they are making it in this crazy world. It feels good. It's feels like time really didn't kill our friendships. I'm glad to have them again in my life.

However, unfortunately, This isn't the subject that I wanted to talk about. My subject today deals with a subject that we're all too familiar with...heartbreak. Now, before you guys begin to beat me up and give me some off the wall suggestions, let me say my piece and then you decide. Once you walk a mile in someone's shoes, that's when you begin to know them. First, let me shed some light on the subject.

Most times than not, men are afraid to show what they truly feel. People look at them as weak or sissies. They say that men are supposed to move on as if nothing happened. I guess that's why men have a problem either showing or conveying emotions. Little boys are told by their dads that boys don't cry. It's a sign of weakness. To show their emotions leaves them vulnerable to attack. We grow up believing this nonsense and making it the gospel truth. From a young age, we are taught to be emotionally cold.

When it comes to love, we are also taught that you should never "cry" or feel sad about a woman. We are told to forget that worthless so-and-so; that another one will come along. I find this very disturbing. To me, that is feeding the idea that women are just worthless objects for men's entertainment. The basic idea is that when a couple break up, the woman is at home crying while the guy is out getting "busy" with another woman. That is disgusting!

However, that's the world we live in. We live in a world where we must oppress what we feel. The thing is that sooner or later it all comes to the surface.We find our lives unfulfilled. Why do we do that to ourselves? Are we to believe that this is the correct manner in which to live?

Even more astounding is the fact that women are also buying into the idea of becoming separated from emotions. can you imagine a world where no one really is in touch with their emotions? This is chaos! Why must we live the way others taught us to live? Especially when we see that they're wrong! No wonder the world seems like it's losing its love.

Call me a hippie or whatever, I refuse to live by the status quo, when I see that it's wrong. Many times we just say to ourselves we will not show any emotion because we are afraid. We stopped trusting in each other. If we do trust, it's not completely. My question is why? Why do we do this to ourselves? Why are we afraid to live? Why have we lost faith in something we still want to believe in?

I am not blind to the fact that in life we get hurt. Trust me, I have had pain in my life. I understand that there are times when life, love, and everything else in between sucks. How many times we put ourselves out there and we hit with a fastball to the groin? This, however, doesn't stop me. I have learned that you stand up and fight for what you believe in. That, in itself, is a test of character.

I am a very passionate person. I care and love like if tomorrow is never going to come. The truth is we don't know if today is our last day. I don't want to have any regrets. till now, there are none.

We must not let life get in our way. If we do, we end up bitter and cold. We must not limit ourselves in what we love or believe in. Give your heart and passion to friends, family, and life. Be the one that everyone wants to be like. Do not be afraid of being vulnerable. If we limit ourselves, we will not be happy.

To end this entry, I have a little story... it's an ancient Chinese story...

There once was a very young bluebird. The bluebird was one of many in the nest. One day, one by one, the other bluebirds went to the edge of the nest, high above in the trees, and jumped out, so as to learn to fly. Many of them hit the ground hard. They flapped their little wings, but fell to the earth below. One by one, they made their way off the ground and took flight. Now, the very young bluebird, seeing what happened to the other ones, had some hesitations. However, the bird stepped to the edge and took the leap. It flapped its little wings, but it still fell to the ground. It crashed very hard. The little bluebird felt the pain running through every inch of its tiny body. The little bluebird decided that flying was much too dangerous. Flying would lead to falling and getting hurt. So the little bluebird decided to walk everywhere it went. As time passed, the little bluebird grew. It still looked up to the heavens and saw the others birds fly overhead. The bluebird became very sad. It didn't know why. One day, as fate would have it, the bluebird came across a snail. The bluebird saw how the snail looked up to the heavens with awe and cried. Moved by the snails, reaction, the bluebird came up to it. The bluebird asked the snail why did it cry. The snail responded, "If I had only wings to fly as high as I wanted and not be always on the ground so low." the bluebird responded" yes, but you can fall and really get hurt." The snail nodded " yes,but I would take that chance if it meant I could touch heaven..."

Keep safe and dream big!

Dazed and Confucius Part 1

Hey crazy cats, it's the start of another week. If you are anything like me (chances are you aren't), then you had a weird weekend. I'm not one to complain. Don't think that this entry is about complaining. It's more like a drive-by shooting in the "Twilight Zone". You might think that I'm exagerating. Just wait, you'll see.

Anyway, ever since my breakup, I've been a little hesitant in jumping back into the dating pool. Truth be told, I'd rather sit it out. However, My friends did advise me to just take it easy and go out on "fun" dates. I knew that this was not my cup of tea, but I listened. I should've steered away from all of it. I should've just said no, but no like a a kid with a book of matches and a lonely gas-doused box spring mattress I was drawn into it.

This weekend, I was surprised by being placed into two, yes two blind dates. I hate things things. You usually get the really ugly girl with tons of issues going on. You know the type, she probably just got out of the mental institution and her friends want her to jump into the real world and leave her personalities and imaginary friends behind.

Anyway, both were not pyscho. However, they pretty much were a total disaster. God bless my friends for trying though. Although, I feel as if they did it on purpose just to have something funny to talk about at the cooler at work on Monday morning. Never in my wildest would I ever subject my friends to the mental torture, that far surpasses that of Gitmo Bay, of setting my friends up on a blind date. Anyway, Karma will take care of those ingrates.

Let me tell you about the first one. The first one started off like a regular run of the mill date. We were to meet up at a local restaurant at 7 pm. I like being early in the event of problems on the road. I was there at 6:45 pm sharp. I received a text stating that she was going to be a few minutes late. 45 Minutes later, she finally arrives. I'm very forgiving. I decided to look past it and go in and eat. I would've known that God was trying to tell me to abort and hit the silk when we walked in and they told us that the wait time was an hour. I didn't listen though. I decided to go to another restaurant. Well, this one was very nice and the waiter was great! We sat down and ate and talked. Well, more ate than talked. She ate like an Ethiopian at The Golden Coral. I mean, damn! The girl was like not just hungry,but HUNGRY! I had to count my fingers a couple of times just to make sure that they were all there. Her voice was like that of Fran Drescher, Edith Bunker, and the sound of a very long obnoxious fart. I tried to overlook it. I know that I'm not a prized catch, but I know that I'm not that messed up.

Anyway, after the black hole finished eating everything, to include light and time, I felt kind of bad that she came from long away and I was moved to go somewhere else. So, I decided to take her to a comedy show. It was one of the best that I have seen in a long time. Did that stop this slowly unfolding Greek tragedy? Nope. God was determined to piss his robe that night. I resigned myself to the fact that this was a terrible idea.

We got out back back to my car... yes, my car. I wasn't planning to waste my gas on a terrible ordeal. I was just going to call it a night. Except, she decided she wanted to talk. Oh boy, you know where this is going to. I made my hints clear enough that there wouldn't be as much as a kiss on this one. She said she had a wonderful time and she wanted to do it again. I smiled and readied my gun to shoot her. I'd rather be in prison and be some felons love toy for 20 years to life rather than go out with her again. As soon as I saw a break, I left. I peeled out and left tracks like the De Lorean in "Back To The Future".

When I got home, I took off my clothes, burned them, and then scrubbed my body with acid; just so I could forget the nights events. I couldn't believe that I was subjected to such crassness and just plain rudeness. I try to overlook things, but I have standards.

I'm not hard to deal with. I love having fun. Just ask a certain redhead. I'm very easy-going. I love having a good time and love to make people feel special. However, when you're as subtle as a wreckingball to the groin, things usually go bad.

So I stand here wondering what is the whole realtionship thing worth anyway? It's hard to find someone you're compatable with. Then, it's not a sure thing because you really aren't sure if it's going to work. However, the adventure is in finding out.

Yes there are times when we cry. There are times when we get angry. However, realtionships are fun. We can't live without them. My problem is that I can't seem to be in one long enough. it seems like I'm a nice guy, but not the guy. Oh well... I'll continue to go forward.

By the way, That date didn't end with me high-tailing it out like I was set ablaze. A couple of days later, I recieved a text from Broadzilla. She stated that although we had a great time ( I wonder what date she was on), she felt that we didn't have a chemistry. Oh really! Thanks for that info there Nostra-dumbass!

Well folks, I'm going to end this one for right now. I have another great date to tell you about, but I'll leave that fiasco for another entry. Keep safe and dream big!

A Little Apology

Hey crazy cats, it's hump day! we're half way through the week. Just hang in there. The weekend is coming up faster than that nasty corned beef you ate for lunch! I can say that my change of position in the hospital has done me a world of good. This has been one heck of a blessing!

Anyway, I just wanted to take this moment to do something that most people cringe about doing. I want to take this opportunity and apologize for a misunderstanding that happened over an entry I made. Usually, when I make an entry, people read it and apply it to a situation in their lives. However, there are times where I don't specify enough and misunderstandings happen. This is what happened recently.

Now, usually people do not like to admit mistakes. I find that those who do admit mistakes are more brave because they have the strength to admit it and try not to let it happen again. I know that I am human. I will make mistakes. I acknowledge them and try to learn from my mistakes. I just hate the fact that someone was unintentionally hurt because there was a misunderstanding.

I don't want to embarrass the person and put them on "blast". She knows who she is. From the bottom of my heart, I'm truly sorry. I never meant to hurt anyone in any way.

I will continue to post my entries, but with a little more detail so people don't get the wrong idea. Well, I just want to take this little moment. Keep safe and dream big!

A Little Thought

Hello crazy cats! Another weekend is coming to a close. For most of us, it's back to work on monday. The weekend comes and goes so darn quickly. Oh well, it seems all of life is going the same speed. Today, I took the day to clean up the place a bit. I reverted back to my Navy days and cleaned the hell out of everything. I even gave the fish a bath!

My morning did not start off with this intention. I fell asleep last night around 4 am. I was very tired by the time I hit the sack. However, as cosmic law dictates, I woke up at 7 am. I tried, in vain, to go back to sleep. So, around 8 am, I got my butt out of bed. Now, usually normal people would just make breakfast and start their day. Not me. I was determined to tire myself out and go back to sleep. So, with this idea in mind, I decided to clean the house. No one ever told me that this is very addicting. I forgot about breakfast... and lunch and dinner. I noticed that my parrots were looking at me with a concern look. It was if as though they were betting on how long I could go before dropping dead.

The problem is that I didn't become tired. Oh no. I became more energetic! I know that the root cause of my energy is my stress. I try like crazy to reduce my stress. Yet, it's still there, like a buzzard waiting for its prey to fall dead. I keep on going.

I'm kind of glad that this cleaning bug has come over me. Usually sundays are bad for me. i hate that I have nothing to do on sundays. Most of my friends are working or spending time with their families (remember, I am single....). So, it becomes a trial trying to find something to do.

Anyway, that's not why I logged on and began to write this entry. I wanted to use this moment to get some things off my chest ( like I always do). Have you ever encountered a situation or person that just leaves you dumbfounded by the messed up way they approach life? You know, they don't pay their bills, or they blame their problems on everyone else but themselves, or they have more issues than The New Yorker, or they say something and mean something else? If you can't think of anyone, chances are you that person.

These people lull you into caring for them and then strike your very being with pain, like a demented kid with a wiffle ball bat. The thing is that they know they're causing pain, but they don't care. They would rather let you suffer because they do not want to suffer themselves. What is more messed up is that they make it seem that you provoked it. They're too afraid to accept their actions.

These people truly fall under the "poisonous relationships" category. they seem very pleasant at first. They weave their web of "woe is me" and "you can trust me". The problem is we fall for it. Our hearts and faith in love and caring are shattered every time we meet people like this. For some of us, we want to bring good to the world. We hear everyday how bad is it and we want to change that. We care for others. We want to lend a hand. We want to believe in love. We are also the ones who really get hurt.

To love is not a weakness. To care is not a disease. It is not a trait for some fallible part of our being. I stress that the most courageous people are those who love with no prejudice. Even though they might get hurt, they'll do it for the greater good.

However, these people aren't the ones we're discussing. People who use other people are really off their marker mentally. It's a narcissistic trait that they display. They believe in the "me" mentality. It's them before anyone else and if there is room left over, it's them even more. I personally can't stand those types. I dealt with them too much already. recently, I came across one who can't seem to get the idea the they are the one who is wrong. That's too bad. Even though I personally do not wish any harm, we see that Karma has a way of coming around. I just hope they realize it in time.

As for me, I'm going to continue to clean my house and try to eat something. I know that things happen for a reason. I'm just waiting to get my answer. Till then, have a great week. Love one another. Keep safe and dream big!

A Moment of Zen

Hey crazy cats, Another week is in full swing and things are marching along. for the most part, things are going as suspected. The events that transpired last week in my life had put my life on its ear. Yet, if you take a moment, things usually end right where they belong.


I believe that things usually work themselves right. I don't believe one should not do anything to remedy a problem. I believe that we must work and fight for our happiness. Sometimes, the problems are out of our hands. When that moment arrives in our life, we should wait for the right moment to act upon the situation. If you rush into things, that's where mistakes are made.


There's an old Native American concept of thinking seven steps ahead. Every action we do should take into account what is going to happen seven steps down. I think that this type of planning makes for decision making and less headaches from a radical idea or decision. An example is if you have a stone in your shoe, what do you do? One idea is to not do anything. If you take this course of action, then you're going to hurt. If you leave it and hurt, then you'll probably develop a sore spot, then a blister! From there, you run the risk of an infection!


Another option is to cut your leg completely off! That way, you don't have to worry about the stone or another rock going into your shoe... Ridiculous, huh?


All you needed to do was to take the darn stone out your shoe and problem solved. However, we as humans tend to take the answers to our problems to the extreme. We don't think about what the outcome is going to be in the long run. We see the short run answers. If we do look at the long run, it's in some obscure vision. We don't think of others, at times. We forget about the impact our decisions have on others around us. It's like tossing a stone into a pond. Even though you might have thrown the stone into the middle of the pond, the ripples can stretch out to the shore of the pond.

Decisions should be made with everything taken into in consideration. Like I said times before, humans are very selfish. We don't like to think of others. We want what's in it for us. Our satisfaction comes before the needs and feelings of others. I believe we weren't born like that. Children are kind of selfish, but they give with their hearts. They share when they see others are in need. I guess we have become like this over time. For me, it's time that we start thinking like that again.

Let's get in touch with our hearts. Let's open our hearts. When we do that, we will find our path in life. We will see things in a different light. Plus, this act is very contagious. Once we start, everyone else will follow. Bad habits spread, but so do good habits.

Well, I'm going to call this one done. Everyone...please be careful and please take care of each other. Live life and love like it's your last day on earth. Keep safe and dream big!

Matters of the Heart

Hey crazy cats, I hope everyone is having a great weekend and are safe. I just decided to sit down and type away at the keyboard. I have used it, for some time, to let my feelings out in a constructive way. You can type away anything your heart feels and the keyboard can take it. At times, I write funny stuff. There are other times where I make entries that are very mysterious. For the most part, I am straight to the point. Lately, I have been letting the readers in my personal life. I receive messages from friends and guests about how they enjoy the blog. I have received some advise and I greatly appreciate it.

As I stated in the last entry, I have been going through some tough times. I was in a relationship in which I was very satisfied and, for the first time in a long time, very happy. Unfortunately, it ended very abruptly. I thought to myself "what happened"? I thought things were going pretty good. We had a great weekend. We enjoyed each others company and we were laughing like mad. It wasn't another person. It wasn't an argument over political or religious beliefs. It wasn't over addictions. It was over growing.

Now, let me explain... We all must grow in a relationship. If we think that a relationship is supposed to be the same since day one, we have a recipe for disaster. We should never take for granted the love and caring of the other person. We must treat them as we want to be treated. This was present in our relationship. So... what was it? I believe it was fear. Fear of falling in love and trusting someone.

Relationships are hard to manage. Even those who have been married for over 50 years can tell you that there are times when it becomes hard work. When we have a partner in our lives, we should strive to always take them into consideration, without losing our identity in them. Love will make us do beautiful things for those we cherish. Their pain is our pain. Their triumphs are our triumphs. What happens when we change the layout of a relationship?

Loving someone means you are subject to getting hurt. Yes, love is grand! Yes, love feels good! However, love hurts sometimes. Being in love means you're going to be hurt. If you don't want to get bruised, you don't want to play football; if you don't want to fall down, you don't want to ski. The same is true for relationships: If you don't want to get emotionally hurt, you don't want to be in love. Why? Because you're going to love another fallible human being who is going to make mistakes, who is going to have faults, and who is going to inadvertently hurt you. You, too, are a fallible human being and you're going to make mistakes. You are going to do things that hurt your partner, even if you don't want or mean to.

Some people expect too much in a relationship. They depend on the other person to be their personal caretaker. They hang on every decision made by the other person and don't care to have an opinion of their own. They try to become a carbon copy of the other person, not realizing the a relationship is most beautiful when two people bring diversity into it.

Other people expect too little from a relationship. They are so sure they can never feel whole and complete with another human being that they never give themselves the chance to have their needs for love and intimacy met. They equate intimacy with pain and do everything they can to insulate and protect themselves from it. They do not know that there are two kinds of pain: pathological pain that comes from dysfunctional, unsafe relationships and the healthy pain of growth in normal intimate relationships.

We can't expect to get things right the first time in any relationship. Arguments will come up and tears will be shed. It is, after all, love. Whether we chose to ignore it or accept it, it is always present. Hearts will be broken and mended. I love you and I'm sorry will continue to be said. We should begin to change our ways and embrace the love that another person has given to us. It is a gift after all.

So where does that leave me? I'm still alone. However, I shall continue to give myself fully in any relationship. I hope that things will change. I hope that tomorrow will bring better news. My faith tells me that it will. In the meantime, I will be always ready. life is beautiful. We should enjoy it all. it's the only one we have. Keep safe and dream big!

The Dark Clouds

Hey crazy cats, I hope everyone is being safe this weekend. Unfortunately for me, I had an incredibly trying week. It began on Monday when I found out that a close friend of mine regrettably took his life. The news really shook me because I would have never imagined this tragedy. As I write this entry, I still am in shock over the events that transpired. I know that his family will have to take lots of time to heal from this life-altering event. My heart and prayers goes out to them.

In other items, I regrettably have to inform that a certain person and I are no longer seeing each other. I really thought that this one might really begin to change everything. Alas, I was wrong. It didn't end as most relationships end. However it ended anyway. I do feel upset. I am sad. I wish things would have turned out different. Let me be the bad guy in this one. I'll take the hit. As a matter of fact, it usually is the guy who takes the heat. I don't mind.

One thing is for sure, I didn't cheat. I never lied. I don't have any regrets. One thing I have noticed recently, women have a tough time accepting the fact that a guy can care and love with all their heart. I am guilty of that. I can't stand the society in which we live in today. Everything has become disposable. There is no willingness to try to work at something worth fighting for. However, both must be willing to work at it. I leave this relationship with the knowing that I worked at it. I really hope to one day find that special someone. I know she is out there somewhere.

I know I'm going to need some time after this one. I did get too involved. that's what happens when you're a romantic. Again, no one is to blame. It just didn't work out. Did I agree with the breakup? No. Did I fight against it? No. Why you may ask? I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me. We all have free will. We chose our own destiny. We make our lives.

So as I end this week, I look back at the losses. None of them were for the good. I grieve over both. However, tomorrow is a new day. The sun shall rise. Although it hurts, it will get better. I ask for prayers for those of us who hurt, mourn, and cry tonight. I say to them to lean on me as I lean on you. We will get through this. Use my strength to get you through. today you lean on me. Tomorrow it will be me on you.

To everyone else I ask to take care and love each other as if it were your last day. Love unconditionally. Respect each other. Say I love you. If tomorrow never comes, will the ones you love know how much you loved them? Keep safe and dream big!

Cupid is a Psycho!

Hello crazy cats! Starting off another entry here in what I find it to be a peephole into my mind. I have noticed, through the years, that we as humans are very voyeuristic. We love to pry into others people's business and look at the intimate details. It's kind of sick, demented and twisted, but we enjoy every second of it. If that's the case, then that would make me an accomplice with exhibitionist characteristics.

Anywho, so here I am. I'm enjoying life and trying to live it, even though it gets rough sometimes. I have opened myself to seeing new things and enjoying everything that life has to offer me. One thing I have learned is that when you open yourself to receive what life has to offer, you often get an enriching experience.

I have met someone. She is the most wonderful person I have met. Some may say that she is far from perfect. However, if I wanted perfect, I will die a lonely man. Perfect is too dull. Life is fun when little things intrigue you, envelope you, and drive you crazy about a person. She is all this and then some. She challenges me like no other has. It's like playing chicken with a train and all you have is a cheap football helmet for protection. She is so much fun.

The cool thing is that we don't fight. We discuss everything with passion. We don't go for the jugular. We try to get our point across without blood lust. It's so cool that we can. I can safely say that I feel comfortable arguing with her. When was the last time you were able to say that about anyone?

Now, that's just a small part of our relationship. I feel like a 13 year old 80's boy with his favorite Samantha Fox calender. She is a truly great person to talk to. We chat more on the phone than 12 year old girls talking about boys. I get butterflies in my stomach everytime I see her. She is smart, independent, and hotter than the light switch on the sun.

If you ask her, she'll tell you that I need glasses and a therapy. She thinks that she's a little rough. She thinks that some of her traits are a turn off. However, those are the traits that have me falling head over heels for her. Go figure!

So right about now, you're asking yourself "dude, what's the moral of the entry?" My answer would be F%$^ You!..... no not really.... Anyway, the moral is that when cupid sticks his head in your life, it doesn't matter what backgrounds you came from or the things that make you different. What matters is that one thing that brought you together.

You may say" but I don't have a lot in common." My answer is that's good. That means you have a new world to explore and you're not going to be bored anytime soon. Life is boring when you have someone who likes everything you do. There is no fun in that. The fun comes when you try something new.

As for "squaw" and me, we're having fun. If anything, I can say I met a great friend that I want part of my life. I'm glad she walked into my life. I was doing good, but now (with her in it), it became more interesting...

Well, I'm gonna call this one done. Thanks for sticking around for all the sappiness. There are puke buckets at the end of the entry. Enjoy your life. Keep safe and dream big!

The Art of a Meltdown

Hey crazy cats, it's the weekend and it's time to unwind. If you're like me ( and chances are you're not), then you had a rough week. I had a pretty rough week with everything. Things, at times, don't seem to go right. That's life. You have to deal with problems that show up in your life like that really bad explosive diarreah when you're walking in the middle of Universal Studios and you don't make it in time to the bathroom. We must look for ways to deal with them.

This brings me to our next exciting entry. What I am about to say is probably wierd, but it's the truth. Anger is a wasted emotion! I don't believe in getting all Hulk-like angry anymore. Maybe it was the Asian philosophy that I was exposed to or maybe it's realizing that life's too short. Mind you, I do get upset. I just don't go berserk. Why? Anger clouds the mind. Anger is the result of feeling hopeless. If you believe that you can control at least your response to any given situation, then you will never be truly angry.

Now you may be saying "big flipping deal, Mr. Miagi!"However, think about this. imagine yourself in a situation where the person tries to get a negative reaction from you and they fail. I'm not saying that you don't feel upset. I'm just saying controlling all that negative energy and redirecting it into a positive energy you can use. If you use that energy to let's say workout, write a song, clean your house... something physical that have a very positive outcome. I remember one time I was upset about something at work. when I got home I was getting to the point of just being angry. I quickly went outside and started taking pictures. I took at least 200 pictures that day. When I finished, I was so relaxed and was able to think things rationally. Buddhists do this quite a bit. I look for the things that enrich my life and help me express myself better.

Some people love that about me. They have asked me how do I keep cool? It's just something I do and something I learned. When you realize that there are somethings you can't change, or there are somethings you can change but with lots of effort, then you look for a way to overcome the negative feeling and try to let go. It is, in essence, the ultimate form of control.

When I first started in martial arts, I used to get so frustrated because I wasn't able to beat my opponents. As a matter of fact, I lost all of my sparring matches against this one guy. I was at the point where I wanted to give up. Then the instructor sat me down and gave me the most useful information I have ever received. The way he said it set off a chain reaction in my mind and helped me reach a level I never thought possible.

Other people hate that about me ( just ask my ex-wife). They usually don't like the fact that they will not get the reaction they want from me. I can argue without losing it. I cuss you out with actually cussing or losing it. Truth be told, it's so much fun.

There are times when I will eat my philosophy like a boa constrictor eating a mouse. There are time when I want to go crazy like a chihuahua that just ate a bottle of steroids and washed it down with Red Bull. They are far and few between.

 I guess what I'm trying to say is that,although there are moments in life that merit a good old fashioned meltdown, we shouldn't be so quick to meltdown at everything. When you have control over your emotions, then you have control over what upsets you and what makes you happy. Life is too short and precious to let some douche-bag ruin it for you. Nothing is better in this world than when a jerk with road rage comes up along side of you and you just laugh because he can't control himself. Trust me, they won't know what to do with themselves. 

 Well, I'm gonna call this one done. Take care of yourselves and have a great weekend. Keep safe and dream big!

A New Horizon

Hey crazy cats,

Things have been kind of crazy lately, actually for quite some time. I guess I'm very happy about most of the things that are happening in my life. However, there are a few things that are happening that I wish I didn't have to go through. Hey, that's life for you. I'm definitely not going to complain about it. I'm enjoying this little thing called life.

I also want to mention a certain person who came into my life recently. Her presence has been felt and I thank God everyday for the blessing. She reminds me everyday to cherish what I've been given. Her friendship is felt deep in my soul and I am learning the word happiness once more. this brings me to what I want to discuss.

Many of us believe we are happy. If anyone asks us if we're happy, we tend to say yes. However, when a special person comes into our lives, we realize that we haven't really experienced full happiness. Did we lie when we said we were happy? Certainly not. We just didn't experience the next level of happiness. Life is so beautiful when we open the doors windows to our hearts and let the warm breeze of friendship and love in.

Many of us have been dealt a crushing blow by those forces that do not believe in love. Some of us have become apathetic. Some have become jaded. Still others have closed off their hearts and have not let the anyone else in. We become scared and try to minimize the potential risk of opening up.

I, for one, am adventurous. Do I leave myself vulnerable? Yes. Do I get hurt at times? Yes. It's well worth the risk. I try to have as little "what if?" as possible in my life. I consider myself a very strong and independent person. I don't "need"to be loved, but I am capable of loving with all my heart. that's what we all must do.

Let's leave the pain to one side. Let's leave the past pains in the past. Who knows, the next time you see or meet someone may be the beginning of a beautiful new journey. keep safe and dream big!

You Find Out Who Your Friends Are

Hey crazy cats! Another day here in the Sunshine State. Today's entry is going to go where in entry has gone before...sort of. Today's topic is about friends.

Well all have them. Some friends we see once in a blue moon. Others are like our partners in crime. However, there exists a small percentage of those that we consider our best friends. These wonderful souls are there when we need money, need a place to crash, cheer us up when things don't go our way, and walk right next to you when you walk through the fires of hell.

There are times when a friendship is tested. The tests may come in the form of a person you both like. It may come in the form of a moment of truth, such as doing drugs or talking someone out of suicide. What happens when a friendship is tested in the form of values and orientation?

To bring you into my world, I must first take you back a few years. When I lived in Connecticut, I had a childhood friend that quickly became one of my best friends. Actually, I became friends with his brothers and roamed around like a pack of hooligans that vaguely resembled the cast of the Ralph Macchio Acting Masterpiece ( if you don't know what sarcasm is, that's it.) "The Outsiders". It was pretty cool. We watched out for each other and took hits for one another.

As life usually does, we went our different ways and grew up. However, we always managed to stay in touch. it was so cool to experience the bonds of friendship and see that we would always be there for one another. (like totally BFF 4 life). We could call one another and know that the other ones had our back.

Things haven't changed much in our friendship. However, all friendships have to go through a test of fire. I tested it by going off to war and returning a different person. I think that they all accepted it well. Thank God too, the voices in my head actually like them (just kidding...about the voices).

I think that the true test of friendship came in the form of a little secret. Unbeknownst to me, they had a secret that they didn't share with me immediately. I guess they thought I was going to kill them or whatever. However, as the true friends that they are, they told me.

I have never thought or have ever discriminated against anyone. So I felt very comfortable with all people; regardless of race, color, nationality, etc... As you already can guess, they are gay. to me, it was like " umm...ok...so.....what's the deal?" I'm not gay, but I respect those who are. I'm those that think "great! that means more women for me!" Why should I care about the sexual habits of my friends? I feel very comfortable being heterosexual. I love women, but I don't shove my ideas down anyone's throat. My friend has been there for a long time. He has always been like this. Why should it concern me any if he doesn't think that my girl is hot or thathe would be caucht dead with an issue of FHM in his house. The only problem is the we don't have guy talk about the "chicks" we're wanting to get with. However, I do find out how to decorate my house and what cologne to where. I think it's a fair trade.

So my friends, friendship shouldn't be about hate and bigotry. Friends are far and few between. True friends, no matter what package they come in, are there for you from the start to the very end. We should always strive to keep our friends close to us. After all, they are like family. Heck, sometimes, they're there more times than family is. Keep safe and dream big!

One Crazy Week

Hey crazy cats, I'm back for another entry in what seems to be a lot of people's guilty pleasure. I didn't know that there were many people out there with some voyeuristic tendencies. It's kind of spooky and cool at the same time. Why would anyone think my life is remotely interesting is beyond me. However, thank you very much!

Well, another weekend gone and another step closer to my eventual parting from this existence. Just kidding. Anyway, Father is doing a lot better from everything. I'm so glad. He is my inspiration. He taught me everything good that I know. I wish him a speedy recovery.

There's a couple of things that I have to mention. the first one is that I managed to kill off eight very expensive tropical fish with one single wireless keyboard. Yep, I dropped my keyboard into the aquarium. Don't ask me how because I have yet to figure out that one. The only say in grace was that they all went really quickly.

I feel really bad about it, but remember I'm the same guy who opened a parakeet cage and had one fly out and meet its demise with a ceiling fan at full blast! Poor thing. It took me hours to get him out of the wall! Not to mention the cost of repairing the wall. Wow, those little suckers can really cause damage!

Anywho, work is ok. Nothing really new there.Then again, it's a government job. When was the last time something productive was done by the government. Really, what next? It's going to take an African American president and some sort of flu to..... oh wait....oops.... never mind.

On to better things... For those of you who care, here comes the part where I talk about my single life. For those of you who don't care, here's the part where you guys laugh at me and point fingers. Anyway, I'm such a studly hunk of a man that I have women hurting each other just to get near me. Oh wait, that's the medication talking. Actually, I know of corpses,dumped by the side of train tracks, who have seen more action than me. I pretty much have the worse luck with women ever known to man! If I were Adam, there wouldn't be a human race. Eve would've grabbed the serpent, made a noose, and hung herself! No one seems to like an honest guy anymore.

So what does a guy like me do? I listen to other people in my situation. I try to go out there and meet people. This is were the weird part comes in. I remember when women wanted to be treated with respect and dignity. Nowadays, I see that isn't the case. I've met women who don't care about themselves, their bodies, and their reputation. What ever happened to getting to know someone? Now, it's "that was great! By the way, what's your name? Oh and don't bother calling." That kind of attitude takes me for a loop. I will never understand the humans!

Now before you go thinking that I'm the strikeout king, I did meet someone this week. AND SHE'S NOT A DRUNK! She sounds really sweet and shares alot in common with me. If anything, I think we have established a good foundation for a friendship. I don't want to give away too many details because you guys won't come back to the blog and see if anything else has happened. So, stay tuned.

Well, crazy cats, I gonna call this one done. I have homework to do and not alot of time to do it in. Have a great weekend everyone. Keep safe and dream big!

Shutterbug for April 21,2009

Hey crazy cats! I had today off again. So, I decided to get some culture in my life. I got out my little camera and decided to snap some picture. Let me know what you guys think. If it works out well, I'll do a sister site dedicated to pictures. Let me know. Keep safe and dream big!

A Day Off

Hey crazy cats, today I took a day off of work. I wasn't sick. I just chose a day to get some stuff done. I actually got some much needed stuff accomplished. For instance, here in Florida, you have to renew your car registration in your birth month. Mine was two months overdue! I know. I know. I was really busy though. The funny thing about it is that here in Florida, the DMV is excellent! I swear I was going to wait at least an hour. Much to my surprise, I was done in TEN MINUTES! I nearly crapped my pants! It was the best experiences in my pitiful life.

Anywho, from there, I went to work to drop off an item for someone. I just love showing up to work on my day off and rub it in every one's face. God, I love being a douche bag! As everyone ran around like chickens with their butt holes sewn shut, I merrily strolled through. I know I'm going to pay when I show up to work..lol.

I'm glad I took today off because on occasions, I need a day or two to recharge my batteries. We all need moments to gather our thoughts and put our noses to the grindstone again. In my case, I really needed to get some stuff in order.

Another cool thing is that I start a really short call tomorrow. It's only two weeks long. That's pretty cool. I'm just chugging along to my graduation. I'll be so flipping glad when I'm done. This degree has taken alot out of me. But like the sick puppy I am, I'm already lining up to get into the next one. I got to keep busy I guess. Plus, it really isn't that bad.

Well, so there you go. You just wasted time reading about my day when you could've been doing something more constructive. It's your fault! Next time, go watch some paint dry. Anywho, take care of yourselves and and a great week. Keep safe and dream big!

No Sex in the City

Hey crazy cats! I'm trying to get back to blogging like I used to. All I ask is for everyone to b a little patient with me. My life has gotten really busy, but I will try to make an effort to post my thoughts as soon as they pass through my demented mind.

I would like to start out by saying that I'm actually trying to go out a little more than what I'm used to. I've been cooped up at home because of school. Plus, the summer is coming and I really need to go out more. I've been a really big outdoors person, until recently, and I wanted to keep it that way.

Anywho, as most of you know, I've been trying o be a good little boy, but failing miserably. I found out that the more I try to stay on the straight and narrow, the more I get pulled over to the "dark side". It's funny, trust me. I really do believe that God himself enjoys the stuff that happens in my life. Its not all bad, but it is funny.

For those of you keeping tabs, I am STILL single. You might say that this is an on running joke in my life. I don't mind it much. However, I would like someone to share my thoughts with. Then again, if I do share my thoughts, who is willing to stick around after. Like I've said before, I'm simplistically complicated. To know me is to give up linear thought. I can hold my own in a conversation bout the whole changing geopolitical structure of the whole world. Yet, forget something important that I have to do. I love having debatable conversations.

There are a couple of possible interests on the horizon. I really enjoy meeting new people. I am rooting for one in particular, but only time will tell. I'll try my best. I'm not an easy person to deal with, but I am super easy-going.

Since being tossed into the dating scene ( like a puppy in a sack being tossed over a bridge and into a river), I've discovered how much it has changed. Now I see why many people opt for a career in Buddhist Monk! It's really hard out there. You no longer deal with the trying to impress them with your G.I. Joe collection. It's no longer about knowing all the lyrics to a Stevie B song. Who cares if you ran a thirty-yard touchdown for coach in the fourth quarter. Some women are content if you have all your teeth and aren't on the sex offenders list.

It isn't getting any easier for all of us. I have it pretty bad. You see, I have no children, no alimony, or family. So women thnk I'm either just released from prison for killing off my entire family or gay(not that it's a bad thing *Seinfeld*). I live in a very clean house, I love taking pictures, and drive a Rav4. Just those three things alone throw up red flags on the gaydar. Alas, sorry guys (lol), I'm straight.

I'm not in a rush to get married again. Truth be told, I NEVER want to get married again. That's like shooting yourself in the head a second time after you couldn't quite kill yourself the first time. It will take a miracle woman to even make me think like that ever again.

Like I said, I met someone last week and she seems like a very cool person. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I don't judge on appearance or other silly things. I think she is very pretty and very smart. However, she will remain a secret until always. No one needs to pry that much into my Kool-Aid. Hopefully, the enthusiasm will be reciprocated.

Well folks, I'm gonna call this one done. It's early in the morning, as I type this blog entry. As a matter of fact. it's three a.m. All I ask is wish me luck and fun. I love life. I want the most out of it. Just remember to love on another and not to play with the shotgun in the house. You might break something. Keep safe and dream big!

You Can Run...But It's Not Worth It.

I know it's been awhile. Truth be told, I really didn't feel like blogging. I was feeling a little down. However, now I feel better. It wasn't that I didn't want to be found. Quite the opposite! I just needed a moment for myself.

I recently saw "The Broken". It's a great movie. It's a really good thriller. In it, the protagonist finds herself in a world that she thought she knew changing drastically around her. I found out how much I can relate to this movie.Things that we hold dear are shattered right before our eyes and people who once proclaimed their undying love becoming total strangers. I realized (about three years ago) that true love does not exist. If you truly fall in "love" with someone, you're just giving the person authorization to destroy your soul at a moments notice. One thing I did learn from my ordeal, some wounds run really deep. It is not to say that you can't heal. It's just that you don't heal the same.

"Love" can make you believe in things that aren't always true. It can make you feel sorry for things that you haven't even done. It can warp the past and make it painful. "Love" can drive to the point of ending it all. "Love" clouds the mind.

Another thing that popped in my head was what happens when you love someone and they don't love you back? What if that person just uses you for their own gain? Who is ultimately responsible for the hurt that we go through when our worlds are shattered because of some uncaring, ungrateful person?

From what I've seen, you can cry all you want, God isn't going to change anything. You can pray for the pain to stop. You can pray for revenge. You can pray for reconciliation. You can pray for death. You can pray to forget. It won't do you any good. The pain is there for a reason. Sometimes, we find out the reason. Sometimes, we will never see the reason why.

So, if love sucks so bad, why do we continue to let it grow in our hearts. It's an addiction no one wants to breaks! We all want to feel wanted and loved. It's the dumbest reason, but it's true. Someone once said that love will conquer all. Not so. Someone close to me once said love never fails. It does... and it leaves you for dead. You cannot trust anyone...not even your family.

However, you cannot run or hide from it. You can try to disappear, but it is in vain. Love is a disease we all want. For those of us left a hollow shell of our former selves, become strong. Karma is real! For those who have caused pain, the clock ticks the seconds away before thy day of reckoning. For those who still believe with all their hearts in love, God is truly in your hearts. An indomitable spirit is worthless if you don't fight with passion for something. You can be be a fighter; if you have no heart it's worthless. You can be a lover, but let's face it if you don't love they have a name for that. You can lie to yourself and make it seem like it's everybody else's fault. That only leaves you with that anger.

So my remedy to "love" and it shortfalls is this... Don't lie to yourself and love God and yourself. The world is a messed up place. No one here is worth the pain they put you through. "Love" does mean you're going to get hurt. Even Peter broke Jesus's heart. Keep safe and dream big!

Out of Sight Out of Mind....

Well my Lovely Fans....I know ya Miss Me!!!!! But it seems like since I've moved onto bigger and better things I've been pushed down the line and no longer loved.So I have to make my way to the top and demand my love be returned.....Okay for the people that are new to the site I'm talking about Sammy....How could you do this to me Sammy...I thought you loveded me...the only person that truely cared my ride or die...my ace boon coon! Now I don't mean anything to you...What about our love child and our future unborn children...Well I'll let all my feelings fall to the waistside as you have done...I'm finished...I'm done...it's over...I will write Blogs once a week for my followers and post a picture every other week....I know somebody out there will find what they are looking for in me...and I will give them all my heart and YES our child will call them DADDY!!!!

All my Single fellas throw your hands out....I'm available and ready to show someone a good time!! Please Balieve me!!!! Feel free to hit your girl up!These are jokes..But I will be posting different pics and blogs every other week to support my boy! One love and I miss you all.....Except that one REAL @$$ dude I use to sit next to but I'm going to be nice and I'll be the bigger woMan about the situation! Peace and love to all...Miss you Sammy...MBM...Z,Nanananana and all the rest of my fam...

MUAH....(Big Kisses)

3Dee over and out

Arnie Sings!

Soothes the Savage Beast

Hey crazy cats,

Here I am trying to write a paper for class ad I decided to take a break. As I sat here, I got to thinking about something that all of us do without realizing it. I work a little better when I have music going in the background. I don't know what it is, but it just works out to be that way. I was listening to some Amos Lee. He's a very good blues singer.

I love listening to music when I do things. Depending on the activity, a certain music goes with it. I love listening to easy music when I do schoolwork. It just get the creative writing juices flowing. I find it to be very useful.

I have noticed that this holds true when it comes to getting through some rough days. I know that I'm not the only pathetic hopeless romantic out there. How many times have you found yourself turning on some Air Supply, or Bette Midler, or Cristian ( it's a Latin thing). You sit there and pretty much ball your eyes out. It might sound stupid, but it has been proven to help out. However, I don't know about people who listen to John Tesh... oh well...

One thing I have noticed is that Latin music is more passionate ( except for country music. they have us beat when it comes to depressing songs). I guess because we have all been heart broken or madly in love. Latinos... well, let's just say we tend to go overboard. If you ever get a chance, just listen to Cristian Castro. The guy is about one song away from jumping in front of a train.

Before I forget, I do want to make a suggestion. Do not listen to Heavy Metal while driving. Science has proven that this causes road rage. Instead, listen to Reggaeton. This causes the listener to obey all traffic laws since they cannot hear anything over the DNA scrambling boom of the bass.

So the next time you hear your neighbor blasting his or her radio away, just remember that they may be getting over something. As long as it isn't Yanni, don't worry about it.Well, folks, I have to get back to the schoolwork. Have a great week! Keep safe and dream big!

Bad Dreams

Hey crazy cats, It's been a weird month like many of you may know. I thought this year was going to be less crazy than last year, but I guess I was wrong. So far this year, I discovered that alot of people do not know the meaning of the word hate. Actually, they do... They don't know the meaning of the word love or forgiveness.

It's Sunday early morning as I write this. I was sleeping when I was awakened by a bad dream. Usually, I just shrug it off and go right back to sleep. This dream, however, had other plans for me. I dreamt about someone I really care for. I saw them in trouble and I couldn't help. This troubled me so much that I woke up with my heart racing. Now, it's 2 am and I'm making an entry on my blog.

I'm not generally superstitious. I tend to be kind of analytical. However, this one bothered me alot. So,this got me thinking. Many people state that they would help a loved one til they can't anymore. Now before you say it, I know we've covered this before. What happens when helping is the only way to get through? What if the US had said " hey World War II isn't our fight." or if Jesus had said " fagedaboutit..." As a matter of fact, there is a proverb about my theme of this entry. Hopefully, I won't mess it up too bad. Here it goes. There was once this orchard owner. He owned many trees that gave fruits. There was one tree that didn't gave any. He told his foreman, " I want you to chop down that tree and put it in the fire." The foreman said," Sir, give it some more time. I will take care of it and feed it. If by next year it does not give fruit, then I will do as asked." I know I took some creative liberties. Sue me!

I learned many a things from this. First, the foreman was just buying time. He believed in something and he needed more time. Second, perseverance. How many of us are willing to stick it through, even though it looks bleak. It's easy to root for the home team when they're winning. It's hard to see the sun when on the horizon all you see is storm clouds. Life isn't always easy. Life isn't always fair.

Another proverb that helps get my point across ( after all, this is my blog..thank you very much) " greater love hath no man than to lay down his life for his brother". What I see in this passage is that you don't necessarily have to throw yourself in front of a bullet in order to save your brother ( or sister). However, if that's what it takes, so be it.

Too many times, we become accustomed to what we are told is right and wrong. We are told to fight and keep fighting until we see that the problem becomes rough. What if the pilgrims would have said " f^%$ that! I ain't crossing no ocean!" We would have our country. What if George Washington would have said " f^%$ that! I ain't crossing no Potomac!"

It's easy to face a problem. It's hard to stick to it when the going gets tough. We are not cowards. Now if you think that I have gotten off the subject, well.... let me say this... The message is there. My friends, sometimes life doesn't give you an envelope with the answers inside of them. Sometimes, if you read between the lines, you will find all the answers.

Remember never to give up. Always push forward. You are the only one who can change your mind. Fight for your loved ones! Love should never know no boundaries. As a beautiful person once said, if you can't achieve it with love, you can never achieve it. Keep safe and dream big!

For the Greater Good

Hey crazy cats! Another week, another adventure! Lots to talk about his week. So let me get started. Strap yourselves in! The roller coaster is about to leave the station! I know that I must accept my limitations. There are certain things that all of us cannot do. For instance, I can't fly like Superman. Which means, I'm not going to jump off of buildings, even though there's a couple of you out there that wish I did. I can't run in the Olympics! I can't go back in time, even though I wish I could. There's a couple of things I would change.

Anyway, Back to the real story... On Friday of last week, I noticed in individual at work acting kind of funny. As soon as he got close to me, I noticed he was drunk. I didn't mind much until he started to get involved with a patient. Even though I know I'm not Superman, I do tend to have a Superman complex. I didn't approach the patient in any way. I called the cops. What's so bad about that you may ask? I didn't tell anyone else. This, in turn, got me in trouble with my bosses. They weren't wrong for being angry at me for doing the right thing. They were angry at me for not letting them do it, which I found strange. Oh well, I guess no good deed unpunished. Unfortunately, I must turn a blind eye to situations like that one and let others make the call. However, as the title of the entry says, it's for the greater good.

Another example of the greater good is the news of beloved 3D leaving my section at work. She is off to bigger and better things. I, for one, will miss her. We will try to get back on track with the videos and, hopefully, she will be still with the show. Like I said, she will be missed. She brings a certain kind of delight when she's present. We have tons of fun at work and we're always laughing. I wish her the best at her new job. I know she's gonna do great.

We all try to do our best. Sometimes, it works out. Other times, it's like giving an idiot instructions on how to disarm a nuclear warhead. It's pretty much hit or miss. You can try to prepare for everything, but we all full know that anything can happen in life. It's just that simple. Life is like a white water rapids trip without the paddles, life jackets, or boat. It can be fun, just don't complain about getting wet. Just know that you will get wet.

We should always help out our fellow man. I'm not talking about the way Chris Rock helped Pamela Anderson get Hepatitis C. I'm not talking about the way Godzilla helped Tokyo. I mean the way we feel good when we help out our fellow man. Who knows, maybe one day they'll help us out. That's the way the universe works. We can't even think about changing it either. It just happens.

Well, I'm gonna leave it at that. Enough of my nonsense. Everyone have a great week. As always, keep safe and dream big!

All Good Things...

I want to start off by saying that I am doing very well. I have some good news about the site. In the near future, SamVidBlog News will be returning. I was just saving up some money to go HD. Trust me, this was harder to do than making Clay Aiken act straight. However, as you can see, I still try to keep up with my blogging.

Just a couple of things before I go into a fatal tailspin of observance of the human race. This weekend I turn 36! Wow! Four more years and I turn forty. I'm not planning anything for my party. Trust me, I really don't have the inclination to celebrate. Plus, It's Super Bowl Sunday. In other words, everybody is going to be watching the game. Oh well, maybe next year. Unless, there's a surprise birthday party.

Well, the year didn't start off too great. I haven't got a clue what's it going to be like. For starters, I have some bad news. Missy and I broke up. It wasn't like one of the typical breakup that I'm used to. The SWAT Team wasn't called in. It was very understanding and really wish Missy the best. She is a great person. Luckily, we decided to stay friends. We live and we learn.

This brings me to our subject. Relationships... We all go through them, whether we want to or not. Some of us have relationships that remind us of a beautiful movie we saw. Some of us have one that remind us of a stag film we saw at some bachelor party ( those are rare). Others have a relationship that remind them everyday that humans were put on this dirt ball to suffer til the bitter end (these are really abundant).

We as humans tend to look for a companion to join us in our quest for happiness. It is, after all, a beautiful journey. Some of us find that person fairly quickly. Others, well, let's just say we're still looking. What is it about us that need to find someone? I compare love to getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer. We don't care if it hurts or how bad the train wreck is going to be. We love everything about it. We're like sadists. However, when you fall in love, it's the best feeling in the world.

We become morons when we fall in love. We stay up late just to talk to that person. Sometimes, not even sleeping at all. We walk around with our flies open, a booger hanging out our nose, and a smile on our face. We think about that person every waking moment ( kind of obsessive isn't it?) We run to the phone, text message, email, or smoke signal just to see if it's them. We hold conversations with them in our heads for hours ( now we're getting really spooky). We make up nicknames for each other; like beba and boopy ( can you say diabetes?!). Finally, we want to know every single little detail about them ( this is the point where you should stop reading and get a restraining order).

Now, here's the kick to the nads... In America, over 60% of marriages fail! Holy crap! What gives?! Why bother subjecting ourselves to the pain and rigors of dating, courtship, and finally marriage just so we fail at it? There are many reasons that we can state why the marriage fails. My question is, where did WE fail in the relationship? Hasn't stopped being "til death do us part.." and become "til your punk &$$ gets on my last nerve"?

Today, I met a couple who have been married for 60 years! She is very independent and he is just the same. They told me that they went through hell and back. They even separated for a bit. When it came down to it, they didn't want to fail. It wasn't easy at all for them. Life hit them hard. By the way, they have no kids. You all can read through the lines and get the message.

A relationship works because you work at it. I know what you're saying... Oh yeah, Sam aren't you divorced? Unfortunately, yes. It wasn't because I gave up. I fought to the end and afterwards. It hurt really bad for a very long time, but I'm here. As I was saying, it works because you work at it. You have two choices. Either you kill the bum for leaving the toilet seat up and you fell in or you accept it and make him pay with hot dog dinners for a week. Either you go to jail because she asked you to take out the garbage 500,00 times within 5 minutes or you get off your butt and toss the garbage in the dumpster...along with her copy of "Sex in the City", in which case you'll be eating hot dog dinners for a month! It's all up to you.

You might say, I don't have to take that crap. Let me then put it this way... God doesn't have to put up with your crap and a meteor still hasn't smashed you into the ground. Remember, love is a four-letter word, just like the word work. Love = work. There's your lesson kids. There always will be a test on it in life.

Well, I'm calling this one done. Everyone enjoy yourselves this weekend. Enjoy life. You only have one. Keep safe and dream big!

Brain Boogers

Hey crazy cats,

I guess when I started to blog it was just to get my "funny side" out there. Lately, however, I have noticed that I have taken to express my thoughts with the viewing public. I guess I have some exhibitionist trait in me that wishes that everyone can see me (through the blog) and know a little more about me. 3-d and I were talking about this subject the other day. We both came to the conclusion that I'm simplistically complicated. My life is an open book with all the pages mixed around. To really understand me, one must let go of the preconceived ideas of knowing someone. I'm am constantly evolving. Even I don't really know why I do it. There is really nothing to me. I'm not the head of some super-corporation or some rich playboy. I'm just simple old sam.

I have done things in my life that are great. I lived in Central America, I've literally been around the world (thanks to the U.S. Navy), I've met people that have touched and enriched my life. I have saved lives (on more than one occasion). I also know that I've taken a life (thanks to the U.S. Navy). I have loved. I have been hurt. I have fallen. I have gotten back up. I have lost my way. I have found the path. I have lost my faith. I have asked for forgiveness. I'm a proud American. I'm a proud Puerto Rican. I am funny (not really, but my friends think so...). I am serious. I am slow to learn. I learn my lessons well. I am innocent of malice. I am guilty of loving. I have ADD. I have a big heart. I forget things. I remember to say I love you.

This is who I am. I used to hate the person who I was. Then, I stopped measuring myself to other people. I am unique. God made me this way. I love the work He did. I am one of a kind. To know me is to be confused, yet understand me at the same time. I will give the shirt off my back(even if it's my last shirt). I care for all, even though sometimes I am hated. I laugh with others. I cry alone. I believe that there still is good in the world. There are others who chose to love no matter what.

Life is beautiful. There shouldn't be room for hate. Enjoy life. You only have one to live. Take time and look at the beauty around you. You will be surprised. Look at the sun set. Look at a full moon. Listen to the songs birds sing. Take time and spend it with someone you love. Be nice to others, even if they're douche bags to you. Always believe in the power of love and the human heart.

Well, I'm gonna end this Hallmark Moment before someone passes out due to the sappiness. Have a great week everyone. I look forward to hearing from all of you. Keep safe and dream big!

Alcatraz V2.0

Hey crazy cats, it's the weekend...finally. All I have to say is I'm glad it's over. This week, I've been working on my apartment. I'm changing things around, making it more my own. I've come to realize that I haven't had anybody over my place. I am a very "closed" person. Sure I like to have fun with my friends, but I am very weird when it comes to my place. The thing is that I don't know why. My friends think I'm a weirdo and my girlfriend gets upset. They have a right. I really don't know why I don't share my place. It isn't like the place is in shambles. I tend to keep a very clean place. It's like I'm afraid to "open" up.

With this in mind, I set out to find what was the root problem to my dilemma. The more I looked into it, the weirder it got. I don't even let my close relatives in my home. I even freak out when the maintenance guys come over without me being there. So... I kept on looking for an answer. Could it be that I'm afraid of what people might think of me? Could it be that I'm afraid of feeling too personal. Could it be that I'm just a goober who needs to invite my friends ( and especially my girlfriend) over? I guess it's that I'm a goober who worries about dumb things. the dating world is still fairly new to me and I need to catch up with it.

So folks, I ask one thing of you. Help me out. I'm willing to hear to advise, just don't be too off the wall. I'm willing to reboot and have my life Sam V2.0. Who knows, this could be fun. I know I'm not the easiest person to get along with, but I'm a loving person. I definately want to try something new. Well, I'm gonna leave you all with that assignment. Let me know any ideas. Have a safe weekend. Keep safe and dream big..